


Love and Leather [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

by HeloiseDaphneBrightmore



Series: Shadowhunters Universe [1]
Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Blood and Injury, F/M, Injury, Kidnapping, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Runes, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 41,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27350653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeloiseDaphneBrightmore/pseuds/HeloiseDaphneBrightmore
Summary: You are a bold young woman, who doesn’t have the will to care about consequences and is all over the place, takes a liking in Mr. everything has to be done by the books, Alec Lightwood. However he is a hard nut to crack. He pushes your feelings aside, but you don't seem to budge. You're in way too deep and god knows how hard it is to get rid of you.Will Alec give in to you or will you give up before he could even make a decision?The only reason I put it as Mature, because the last few chapters get a bit more violent.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Original Female Character(s), Alec Lightwood/Reader, Alec Lightwood/You
Series: Shadowhunters Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997425
Kudos: 19





	1. L&L - Chapter 1. Training [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Alec Lightwood and Female!Reader  
> Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore

It’s been about 3 years since you have joined the New York institute and left behind your home, London. In the past year your life has become a rollercoaster and you weren’t sure how to handle it. However as strong of a personality you have had, you just went ahead boldly.

Sometimes you second guessed things, but mostly you just did things before even considering the consequences. You were a hotheaded and quick tempered person. Always on fire and ready to fight. It caused you quite a great amount of problems and you did get in trouble frequently. But you didn’t mind. Even though your friends, family and the head of the institute kept nagging you about being more responsible, you were just a free spirit and they loved you for it. Except those who didn’t.

It was around 7pm on a Friday evening, but you didn’t realise the time. You have spent the last hour or so in the gym. You were tired, but fresh. Whenever you spent your time exercising - whether training with your parabatai, your team or going for a run - you always felt that refreshing tiredness that made you keep going.

You were running on the treadmill as it was an unusually rainy and dark day and you weren’t in the mood to get wet for a run. You were sweating from the heat your body was creating, your cloths wrinkled up as you kept moving and your breathing has become uneven. You changed the settings on the machine for a higher and tougher level and started running faster. You pushed your limits, but always set a goal. You had to reach something to feel the achievement, the win. You were listening to your playlist specifically created for your training sessions. It contained songs from every kind of genre from various artists such as

Tungevaag & Raaban - Bad Boy  
Jonas Brothers - Sucker  
Ash Island - Paranoid  
Cardi B - Bodak Yellow  
5 Seconds Of Summer - Youngblood  
Imagine Dragons - Believer  
Changmo - One More Rollie  
Icon For Hire - Make A Move  
One Republic - Rescue Me  
Paramore - Misery Business  
but currently you were listening to Billie Eilish - Bad Guy.

You loved that song. It made you feel like you owned the world. You sped up on the treadmill as if you were running for your life. Your set milage was already behind you, but you kept pushing yourself to your limit. You felt your chest burning, but you didn’t stop. You knew, you felt, that you could keep going and so you continued. There was only one thing on your mind. If there was a situation in which you had to run, noone would give a damn about your chest pain or your burning throat or your heavy breathing. They would only care about catching you and killing you in the best case scenario, or torturing you for all the information they needed.

You heard a cough coming from the door, but you didn’t just stop abruptly. You started slowing down the machine and from your sprinting you slowly changed to running, which turned into jogging. When you were in the walking stage and felt your balance has been strong enough, you decided to look towards the noise you have heard earlier. Your eyes met a very impatient look and you couldn’t hold back your chuckle. Your parabatai was standing at the door tapping the front of her high heel restlessly, trying to make you understand that she doesn’t have much time for whatever you were doing and she needed your attention. You chuckled at her irritated behaviour once again. You found it funny when she was worked up about something. Of course, only in cases which weren’t serious.

“Can I help you, Izzy?” You asked while walking over to the bench across the room to get a sip of your water before continuing your training.

“That should be my line.” She frowned and you raised an eyebrow, unable to understand the meaning behind her words. “Should I help you getting ready?” Impatience clearly showing in her voice. You were confused and you started understanding less - if that was even possible - from what was happening. “It’s 7.15pm already, Y/N. 7.15pm!” She growled angrily, but you felt like a goldfish. You knew nothing about what she meant.

“Would you mind helping out? I’m kind of blanking here.” You snickered at your own stupidity, but your parabatai didn’t find it funny. Izzy seemed to be on the edge and you started feeling uneasy. Was it maybe something important, you thought. But you couldn’t recall any conversation nor any situation where you have agreed to do something or go somewhere.

“Unbelievable!” She sighed as if she was about to give up throwing her hand in the air dramatically. But she wasn’t. It was just the beginning.

“You have promised to come to the Pandemonium with me tonight. I told you about it yesterday.” She explained angrily while walking up and down, her heels following her steps loudly. You tried to remember back to the situation, but it just didn’t seem to register yet. Izzy kept nagging you about how you could have forgotten, but you just closed her out completely. You remembered talking to Izzy the night before and you even remembered her mentioning a private party which has been organised by Magnus. You two were sitting outside on the terrace of your room. You even remembered it was full moon and that there were barely any stars up on the sky. However… you just couldn’t recall saying you would be joining her. And that was when something clicked in you.

“Now wait a second.” You interrupted her angry grunting and growling, and walked closer to her. “In what part did I exactly say to you that I will be going to the party?” You saw her face change from getting all worked up about the party to an unsure expression. You could read Izzy better than anyone and you just knew when something was not right. It wasn’t the feeling like when you were making a wild guess, but it wasn’t exactly like you were completely aware of what your parabatai was thinking either. Knowing your partner was more like a gut feeling that was more than often correct. It was hard to understand, but for some reason you just always knew how Izzy would feel, react, think or turn things around the way she wanted them.

“I might have misunderstood a little.” She said looking up at the ceiling, very obviously trying to hide how awkward she felt for not being right.

“A little?” You teased and she looked at you with a bored expression.

“Are we really going to discuss the depth of my misunderstanding or are we ready to roll?” She didn’t waste time and threw some cloths at you without even giving you time to think. You caught them as if they were easy to break and looked at her with a surprised expression. “Go take a shower and put those on. They will fit, I went through your wardrobe.” She nodded proudly and sat down on the bench waiting for you to get ready.


	2. L&L - Chapter 2. Getting ready [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

“Are we really going to discuss the depth of my misunderstanding or are we ready to roll?” She didn’t waste time and threw some cloths at you without even giving you time to think. You caught them as if they were easy to break and looked at her with a surprised expression. “Go take a shower and put those on. They will fit, I went through your wardrobe.” She nodded proudly and sat down on the bench waiting for you to get ready.

“I didn’t say, I was going.” You protested, but she didn’t seem to care. She just looked up at you full of boredom in her eyes.

“As if you would leave me to go alone.” She chuckled sourly.

“As if you were going alone.” You snorted in a very unfeminine way.

“Come on, Y/N. We both know that you will be coming. Alec will be there and you wouldn’t miss a moment to be around him.” An evil-ish smirk spread across her face knowing your weakness. You had a very strong and powerful attraction towards the eldest Lightwood sibling, but you didn’t try to hide it. You made it very obvious. So obvious that even Alec was aware of your feelings towards him. However he didn’t take you seriously. As he was saying, it will pass. But you knew it wouldn’t. It was stronger than that. You were taken by his charm the first day you met him. He was rude and seemed arrogant, but god he looked handsome. He tried to push you away, but you were not the kind of person who was easy to get rid of. Eventually you became friends. You never knew if it was because he wanted you to just stop teasing him, which by the way didn’t happen, or he accepted you because his sister became your parabatai. Either way, you were closer to him and that’s what mattered.

“Did I ever tell you how much I hate when you use that card against me?” You asked meanwhile trying to decide if you should give in and just enjoy the company or stay in, to prove her wrong. But then, you were more fun than dull and so after sticking your tongue out at Izzy, in a very adult like manner, you walked to the shower and got rid of all the evidence of your training.

You barely turned up the heat on the shower tab. You wanted to cool down. Your body was hot from exercising, but that was not even the real reason. Your body was heating up by just thinking of Alec and it was driving you mad. He didn’t even have to be around you to make you feel fuzzy inside. The thought of him was so powerful that you needed at least 2 to 3 cold showers to be able to handle yourself.

When you finally finished and got out of the shower, you placed the towel around your body and hair and inspected the cloths Izzy threw at you. You didn’t have to think twice before realising that she has found the sluttiest cloths in the deepest corner of you wardrobe. You shook your head, but chuckled at the thought of her grimacing in front of your wardrobe trying to find something that revealed more than enough skin.

You were completely aware of why she has chosen the cloths you were holding in your hands. She wanted you to get together with her brother. God, did she tell you a thousand times if not more. But it didn’t depend on you. Alec was stubborn and a workaholic. He didn’t have time for fun let alone a relationship or feelings that could have clouded his judgment.

You placed the black high-waisted leather shorts on the side of the sink, along with the black off-shoulder cropped top. You though she has provided you with only those two items, when you saw a small black backpack next to the door that you very clearly remembered closing. You walked up to the bag and started exploring its content. Your eyes widened and you could only think about running out and throwing the bag at your friend. But then you didn’t want to waltz out basically wearing nothing. It was not late and people were still wondering around the institute. You took a deep breath and calmed yourself down before you decided to continue digging through the bag. Izzy didn’t just chose your party cloths. Oh no, that would have been way too easy. She decided to make herself useful and chose your underwear too. She had picked out a bright red thong from your drawer that was matching with the red strapless bra you have found. You weren’t even sure if those belonged to you. You weren’t an innocent little girl, but more of a tomboy, therefore sexy underwears and such didn’t really exist in your dictionary. They were usually just plain black. Simple as that. However you still didn’t finish the content of the bag. Izzy also placed a pair of black thigh-high leather boots with heels you were not even sure if they were physically wearable. You opened the door and threw the boots out. You heard Izzy’s chuckling coming closer and your black ankle boots appeared in front of the door. You smiled at Izzy’s chain of thoughts. She knew you well enough to try, but fail in making you force drastic changes on yourself. You were okay to try things out, you were easy going, but you had your limits too, which were set in stone.

You dried your hair and let its natural waves fall on your shoulders. You brushed your teeth and put on some make up you have found in Izzy’s all-in-one bag. You have put on some mascara and some eyeshadow, creating cat eyes of some sort, however you weren’t a big fan of make up and so you have left yourself in your current state. You put on all the cloths you have received and looked in the mirror. At first you weren’t sure. It wasn’t exactly like you. It was more in the middle between your and Izzy’s style. As hard as it was to admit though, you weren’t completely against your new look. You kind of felt powerful, like you could kick some ass, which was probably thanks to your comfortable boots. But you also felt somewhat feminine, which was quite unusual for you. You liked it though and it gave you a confidence boost.

You walked out to the training room, while stuffing your used cloths in the bag. You didn’t really want to go back to your room, so you decided to put the bag in one of the lockers in the changing room. You have put your stele, phone and wallet into the small black bag you have been given by Izzy. You were however very confused how to hide your daggers. You have never left them behind, you have even taken them to the shower with you. However they didn’t fit in your bag. You kept looking at it for a long time, before a cough interrupted you.

“You will not need that.” Izzy said reassuring you, but it didn’t help. “Come on, sexy.” She smirked and held out her hand which was holding up a black leather jacket, assumingly for you. You took it from her and gave her a cheeky wink.

“You don’t have to tell me. I know I look damn good.” You smirked confidently.

“I’m not really sure your ego will fit in the door.” She said as she tried to push you out the door, but you didn’t budge. “By the Angels, Y/N, we have to go.” She tried again and looked at you as if she was trying to give you a death glare. But you were unaffected.

“Don’t you see? My ego won’t fit through the door.” You chuckled and her expression changed drastically.

“That was bad.” She said with a straight face. “Very bad even from you.” You laughed out loud at her reaction and decided she was right. You stepped out the door and finally Izzy and you were on the way to the Pandemonium.


	3. L&L - Chapter 3. Cat fight [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

When you have arrived to the club, you were about to stand in the queue and wait for your turn to be let in. However Izzy got hold of your upper arm and started dragging you after her. You looked at her with a confused expression, but she didn’t seem to care about that. She stood tall and confident in front of the body guard and whispered something in his left ear. He smirked and opened the red rope which was closing off the way to the entrance.

“What was that?” You asked. “What did you say?” Your curiosity was taking over, but she just shrugged. She turned back for a second to wink at you and continued dragging you along. You just gave up and let yourself being pulled around like a doll. A minute or two later you have arrived to a closed room which you have never entered before. Izzy knocked on the huge monstrosity of Victorian style, gold wooden doors and seconds later they opened. A strict looking, suited up bodyguard was holding onto the handle who showed you towards the back of the room. You tried to look around and you managed to see some dark wooden furnitures and some kind of paintings hanging off the walls, but it was too dark to be able to paint a clear picture of how the room looked like.

You arrived to a second door, which opened even before you could knock. By this time Izzy let go of your hand and walked in front of you. As the doors opened up, the light irritated your eyes for a few seconds as it unexpectedly entered your retina. You followed Izzy forward and as you walked deeper into the room you started hearing familiar voices. You looked at your right side and saw Clary, Jace and Alec sitting on an ancient looking couch with golden legs and frame, decorated with black fabric on top of it.

Your eyes immediately turned towards Alec. He didn’t realise your arrival, he continued to talk to Jace about something that seemed very serious. You didn’t even want to pay attention to their conversation. He just looked way too handsome for you to care about anything other than that. He was wearing a black suit-jacket with white fitted shirt enhancing his muscles underneath. His last three buttons have been left undone for the curious eyes and unfortunately yours were one of those. His tattoo-like runes were showing off, underneath the slightly see-through fabric, but you didn’t mind. You could have kept looking even longer, but Izzy decided to interrupt you.

“You are drooling.” She chuckled. You gave her a death glare, that did not end up anything like that in the end, but you have tried. You walked over to the bar and ordered a whiskey-coke. The bartender immediately started making the drinks for you.

“Would you like some ice?” He asked as he looked up at you. His cheeky smile didn’t get missed by your eyes. You nodded in reply and was about to turn towards Izzy who just arrived next to you, but you froze when the bartender winked at you. You didn’t know how to take it. You weren’t a flirting type, unless you fancied someone. You were more of an initiator than a follower. Izzy silently chuckled next to you.

“Sorry hun, she is taken.” She said and your head snapped towards her.

“What did I miss?” You asked curiously. You weren’t aware of being in a relationship of any kind. But she didn’t answer, simply winked at you and walked away. You got your drink from the bartender and walked to the others where Izzy took her place already too.

“What was that about?” You asked curiously still standing next to her.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She smirked and you knew she was aware of what you were talking about.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Izzy. I know you too well.” You continued. You didn’t plan to stop. You didn’t understand why she has done that and especially didn’t understand why she was acting as if nothing happened. Parabatai or not, she was acting strange.

“Come on, I was just joking. It’s not my fault that the bartender is hitting on you.” She chuckled and you started getting more and more annoyed.

“Right, but lying is.” You took a sip of your drink and exhaled sharply. “In the future, please make sure to keep these comments to yourself.” You stated and took your seat next to her as if nothing happened. You finished the conversation, however she didn’t.

“Why are you getting so worked up about this? Did you maybe fancy him?” She asked with a suspicious grin spreading across her face.

“By the Angel, Izzy. You are extremely annoying today.” You stated and the smile disappeared from her face.

“And you are grumpy.” She said crossing her arms in front of her chest while pouting.

“Very adult-like.” You poked at her. She was about to say something, but then Magnus has arrived and sat down in between Izzy and you pushing both of you to the edge of the sofa.

“Now, now… What is this aura I’m feeling around you, guys?” He asked taking turns in looking at Izzy then you.

“She is just moody today.” Izzy said still pouting like a child.

“So what? Are you going to cry because I hurt your little feelings?” You asked sarcastically and you saw the anger clearly showing its signs on her. “Ooh someone is getting emotional. Do you need a tissue?” You asked and she jumped up as if she was about to attack you. “You hurt me, you will be hurt my dear parabatai.” You stated simply. She was thinking for a few seconds before she sat back on her place.

She looked at you as if you were her enemy. Like you have taken something that was very important in her life. You looked straight into her eyes too, but you enjoyed her anger and you weren’t able to cover that completely. You tried to hide the grin that kept crawling upon the side of your lips, but it seemed to be a very hard job.

“Are you laughing?” She asked shocked.

“Me?” You asked back. “How dare you, I would never do that in such serious situation.” You replied with a fake expression of shock.

“Don’t lie to me, you are trying to keep it back.” She pointed it out and it made it even harder to do so.

“Unbelievable. How could you think so lowly of me? It is a very serious matter.” You replied, but this time your lips did curl up, however you tried to stop it. Luckily Izzy started relaxing again too and you let that smile appear faster than ever. She turned away and pouted for a few seconds, but when she turned back she had a small grin on her face too, which she was trying to force away. She was still crossing her arms, protesting against your behaviour for you protesting against her behaviour, which really didn’t make sense, but you ended up grinning after all.

“I hate you.” She stated simply, but with a smile.

“Right. Will call you when I believe you.” You chuckled. As you were looking at Izzy, Magnus’ face appeared in front of you. He looked at you like you were a mentally unstable person who just escaped her asylum. Then he turned around and looked at Izzy, assumingly the same way he did at you. He then turned to look at the audience - your friends - for help.

“Magnus, just let it go.” Jace said while looking at you with a grin. “They always do this. More often than you can imagine.”

“And you do this why?” He asked turning towards you. You just pat his shoulder and grin.

“A way of getting rid of the frustration, I guess. I don’t know. We never really discussed it.” You scratch the back of your neck awkwardly.

“You people are weird.” He laughed and got comfortable between Izzy and you once again.


	4. L&L - Chapter 4. Advice [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The party has started off about an hour or so ago and you were sitting on the same place talking to Magnus. You always had a good relationship with him and you seemed to be on the same wavelength. He always gave you advices - even useful ones occasionally - and he listened to your problems without making you feel like you were bothersome.

Magnus was like a big brother to you. Occasionally, when you were in the mood, you just popped up in his apartment without a warning, but he always welcomed you with a warm smile. You found his magical powers fascinating. You sometimes even wished to be able to do things he was capable of, but then you loved your life and wouldn’t have given it up just like that. You were however enjoying Magnus’s little plays as often as you could.

As you two were talking you realised that your glass never really got empty. In some magical way it kept refilling and you frowned at the man sitting next to you.

“Magnus?” You called him. “How on earth is my glass never getting empty?” You asked looking at him suspiciously. He just chuckled at your question and winked at you while a cheeky smile appeared on his face.

“Magic, my dear.” He said and touched his glass with yours followed by a high pitched noise as the glasses clinked.

“I think I can stand up and get myself a drink.” I reminded him, but he just chuckled lightly.

“I’m aware, however…” He leaned closer to your left ear. “My bartender seems to be very interested in you and it seems that it has been noticed by a certain male in the room who has been giving him death glares.” He chuckled and took a sip of his drink. “I’m just trying to prevent the drama here.” You didn’t really understand the situation, but then you turned around to take a look at the bar tender. He smiled gently as soon as he realised you were watching him and you politely decided to return it. However his smile quickly disappeared making you feel confused. You followed his eyes and met two very unhappy irises across the table. Alec looked at you as if you were doing something wrong. You tilted your head in confusion, but seconds later he was talking to Jace acting as if nothing happened. “Exactly.” Magnus said pulling you out of your daze.

“What the heck was that?” You asked frowning, but Magnus seemed to be enjoying the situation.

“Jealousy, my dear.” He chuckled, but you just looked at him as if he was mentally unstable.

“I’m being serious, Magnus.” You tried again, but he just shook his head.

“I’m not joking. I am completely honest. Alec is being maybe a tiny bit jealous.” You raised your eyebrows at the thought and turned towards Alec to meet those sky blue irises once again. He turned his head away way too quickly making you even more suspicious of his behaviour. You turned back to Magnus and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

“Come with me.” You said and without waiting for a reply you started pulling him after you. You didn’t care about his confused look or that it changed to a cheeky smile when Alec saw what you were doing. No, you just went straight ahead to a quieter place. “Talk!” You said and pushed Magnus to the wall at the end of a dark corridor.

“What do you want me to say, kitten?” He asked trying to act as if he didn’t have any idea.

“You very well know what I’m talking about.” A know-it-all smirk appearing on his face.

“What would you like to know exactly?” He asked as he took a sip of his drink, colouring his lips even redder.

“Why do you think he is being jealous? What made you think that?” You tried to get more information out of him. You wanted to know if finally you might have had a chance to get to him and make him realise that you were a good catch.

“Let’s face it. People don’t just look at other people as if they have imagined a thousand ways of how to torture each other. At least not in normal circumstances.” He stated, but it didn’t make you feel confident enough to walk up to him and tell him that you knew he liked you.

“And?” You pushed wanting to know more. Magnus looked at you and let out a silent chuckle.

“Kitten, he likes you. He just doesn’t dare to accept it.” He patted the top of your hair gently as if you really were a cat. “Instead he is pushing you away and tries to keep you close enough to look at you, but far enough to be able to hide his feelings.” You knew why he was doing that, but to be completely honest, you were fed up with that behaviour. You wanted him and didn’t understand, how could someone shut his feelings away. At least you couldn’t. It wasn’t just him, who knew about your feelings for him, but almost the whole institute. Apparently you made it very obvious.

“How do I make him look at me?” You asked, once again turning to Magnus for advice. You would expect him to be wise after living for almost 400 years already.

“Just be you, Y/N. You are always happy and bubbly around him, you always tend to get touchy feely, when it comes to him. You are on the right path. And to be honest he is on the way to the point, where he will not be able to hide it anymore.” He explained, but you were impatient. You wanted that point now. You wanted him now.

“God, love is a pain in the backside.” You said walking back to the room you came from. Magnus joined next to you grinning.

“Says the person who never been in love.” You felt your glass getting heavier and you realised it got full again.

“Magnus!” You scolded him just with the tone of your voice, but he understood and nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders as he sat down on the same spot you dragged him away from. “Stop that.” You referred to your glass.

“Bad habit.” He said chuckling and you shook your head in disbelief. He raised his glass to clink it with yours, but you just pulled it away rolling your eyes at his attempt.

You turned away and walked up to the bartender to ask for another glass.


	5. L&L - Chapter 5. Let yourself go [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You turned away and walked up to the bartender to ask for another glass.

“Hey.” You tried to get his attention as he was making someone else’s drink. As it was a private party, there were some people you have not known or seen before, but it wasn’t packed as much as in the main venue. The bartender turned around as quick as possible and appeared in front of you as fast as speed of light. You even took a step back, as you didn’t expect it.

“Can I help you?” He asked grinning happily and you just couldn’t stop yourself from returning it.

“Is there any way to stop my friend over there” You pointed at Magnus. “from refilling my glass, without my knowledge?” You asked and the bartender seemed to start thinking hard. Seconds later he took a glass off the shelves and with some purple smoke coming out of his hand, he has given the glass to you. “I’m assuming you are a warlock then.” You stated the very obvious.

“Still in training, but indeed.” He answered proudly. “And this way Magnus will not be able to use magic on your glass, so please let me know if you need a refill.” He smirked and you let your lips curve into a smile too.

“Will do.” You replied. However as you were about to walk away, he stopped you.

“May I ask your name? Of course only if I’m not stepping over any boundaries.” His gentle tone made you think, but soon gave in.

“Y/N.” You said and walked back to your friends. However you felt a very strange feeling and when you looked at Alec, he seemed to be very unhappy. You decided to join his company. You slowly walked up to him and took a seat next to him on the antique couch. He seemed to be taken aback for a second, but then quickly rearranged his emotions.

“Hello Handsome.” You teased, but he just rolled his eyes. “You don’t seem to be in a good mood today.” You stated.

“I’m fine.” He said briefly, not even looking your way.

“I didn’t say you were not fine, I said you seemed moody.” You corrected him. “What seems to be the problem, of the most handsome man I know?” You continued teasing him, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Please, I don’t have energy for this now.” He said while leaning back into the couch.

“Fine, got you. So why are you in a bad mood today, then?” You asked putting aside your seemingly annoying behaviour.

“Nothing. Honestly.” He replied sighing.

“Well, I’m not your parabatai and I’m not even your best friend, but I do know you enough to realise, something is not right. So if you want me to stop asking, then say that, but don’t keep saying that you are fine, and there’s nothing on your mind, when it clearly isn’t true.” You lectured him and he just rolled his eyes once more.

“So would you stop asking me if I told you that I didn’t want to talk about my problem?” He asked genuinely and you gave it a thought.

“Nop-p.” You popped the p and let out a chuckle. “But at least you tried.” You grinned at him.

“Why did I even try?” He asked talking to himself, but you answered anyway.

“Because you still trust me. Oh, how many times did I tell you not to.” You laughed it off.

“I clearly am not a quick learner.” He said meanwhile a small smirk started appearing on the corner of his lips.

“Look, look…” You pointed at his face. “did I just see you almost smile?” You questioned, but he just rolled his eyes once again. It seemed to be one of his favourite habits.

“Very funny, Y/N. Very funny.” You ignored his annoyed tone and grinned at him.

“My humour is my charm.” You stated while chuckling, but his opposing cough made you think otherwise. “Hey, stop being evil.” You pushed on his shoulder. “At least I have a sense of humour. You are always so grumpy, that I feel the need to kick your ass to make you realise that you should have some fun.”

“Y/N.” The way he called your name rolled off of his tongue so easily. You loved when he repeatedly said your name, whether out of anger or happiness. You always felt a slight ticklish feeling running through your body. “We are Shadowhunters. There is nothing fun about what we are doing. We have to take our job seriously.” He continued. “If we just joke around and lose focus, we will make mistakes.” You didn’t know what to think. You were thinking of slapping him on the back of his head, but you decided to turn to words instead.

“Can you please look around?” You asked and he actually followed your request. “When we are out there fighting, I completely understand your view. However we have to release the stress at some point. You can’t keep being serious all the time, because you will miss out on good things. You will miss out on life, Alec.” You explained passionately. “Of course, we always have to be ready to fight. We could be attacked even in the least expected moment, but it doesn’t mean you can’t let yourself go a bit. That’s why we are here.” You placed your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. “When I let myself go and I tend to overstep the line quite often,” You admitted. “I would expect you to make sure I’m getting back to the institute in one piece. Because I trust you. So if you need to release the stress and just turn yourself off even for an hour, we are here to help you. We are not only your team on the field. We are your team in life as well. We are friends for a reason.” Your powerful words must have found their way to the eldest Lightwood as he gently smiled at your monologue.

“I will think about it.” He said, but you knew he was genuine.

“That’s enough for me.” You smiled at him and felt like losing yourself in his shining blue eyes. You didn’t want to turn away, you didn’t want to think about anything. You just wanted to look him in the eyes and give all your attention to him. It seemed like eternity while you were looking in each other’s eyes and you were surprised Alec didn’t turn his head. Mostly when you tried to keep an eye contact with him, he turned away and found something to concentrate his attention on, or simply looked anywhere but at you. This time it was different. It’s given you hope, that Magnus might have been right. That he might have really learned something through the years. You wished to be closer to Alec, but you knew how hard it was to get through to him and you were simply happy that he could finally just look at you.

Only you.


	6. L&L - Chapter 6. That Particular Next Morning [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The next morning you woke up to a pounding headache trying to force your brain out of its place. You didn’t know where you were and you didn’t even remember getting home. Your last memory was of you and Alec having a conversation on Magnus’ ancient looking couch. You tried to sit up as slowly as you could physically manage, not to make your headache any worse. As you looked around the room, you realised you were in the institute, however you weren’t in your own room. It was more like…

“Alec’s room?” You squealed in surprise and fell off of the bed as you jumped in shock. You started massaging your backside, when Alec’s face appeared above you, looking down at you.

He barely opened his eyes, his shiny black hair was all over the place and his confused, sleepy expression made you want to cup his face and touch his lips with yours. But as the recent light of your situation started to register in your head, you realised, that might not be the best idea. After all you didn’t even know what happened the night before, or how you even ended up in Alec’s room.

“What are you doing down there?” His voice was deep and hoarse. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. You have imagined his sleepy face while waking up next to him. You have imagined his rough morning voice as he was still half asleep. You have imagined every inch of his body cuddling you while he was trying to get himself out of bed. But this scenario has exceeded all your expectations. It was more than what you could have ever wished for. “Y/N.” He tried again. This time successfully pulling you out of your daze.

“Yeah?” You asked uncertain if you were dreaming.

“What are you doing down there?” He repeated sitting up on the side of the bad. That’s when you have realised he was only wearing his pyjama bottom. You have seen him half naked before, when you were training together and that was already a very hard task to make yourself focus. But this time, even the air stuck in your throat as you looked him up and down. “You are making me uncomfortable.” He said, but you didn’t care. You tried to carve every inch of his body into your mind. You didn’t want to forget even the slightest details. “Y/N.” His voice was firm this time and you finally realised how inappropriate your behaviour was.

“Yeah?” You repeated yourself stupidly again while finally looking straight into his eyes. “I fell.” You couldn’t force yourself to actually create a coherent sentence. His presence was way too powerful in your brain. However you shook yourself, took a deep breath and decided to look away. It seemed to have worked as your brain started functioning better again. “Why am I in your room?” You asked curiously. You enjoyed the situation, but you still haven’t had a clue how you could have possibly ended up in his room, let alone in his bed.

“You got drunk, Y/N.” He started, but he stopped as a frown appeared in between his eyebrows. “Not even drunk. You were wasted.” He nodded, but it was more to himself than to you. “I tried to make you go to your room, but you have lost the key and I didn’t plan to kick in your door 5am on the morning.” He explained calmly while looking at you fidgeting. “Clary was sleeping in Jace’s room, while Simon took Clary’s room, so I had to abandoned those ideas too. I was trying to get into Izzy’s room as she decided to sleep in one of her friend’s house, but she locked the door and took the key too.” You chuckled at his naivety.

“Right. Friend.” You smirked. Alec knew what you meant, but he ignored your comment on purpose.

“So I only had one option left. I took you in for the night. Clary changed your cloths so I didn’t touch you, don’t worry.” He put his hands in front of him innocently. Not like you would have mind anyway. More fantasies to daydream about. “But then you seemed to be very much awake, not wanting to sleep. I offered you the bed, so you could sleep comfortably. But you decided to crawl under my blanket and join me on the couch. I, then came back to the bed to let you sleep on the couch, but you followed me here too. Let’s just say we were playing this game for a good few minutes. Then I got fed up, put you to bed and decided to sleep there as well. But you are very hard to deal with when you are drunk.” He stated while smirking to himself. You knew he wasn’t mad. You could have sworn he actually enjoyed it. But then again, unfortunately you couldn’t remember.

“Did I…?” You started, but then stopped to think if you should have continued. “Did I try to do anything to you?” You asked grimacing.

“Do you think I would have slept next to you half naked on my own accords?” He asked and you went crimson red in nanoseconds. You felt your face heat up and decided to hide yourself with the blanket.

“By the Angel, Alec I’m so sorry.” You whispered, but he could clearly hear you. Teasing him was one of your favourite hobbies, but you never thought you had gone that far. You heard Alec’s chuckle and pulled the cover off your face until you were covered only from your nose. “What?” You asked sheepishly.

“Nothing. You were just funny.” He smirked at you and you just pulled back the cover to hide yourself. You wanted to look at his handsome face and cheeky smile, but your embarrassment was greater. “Don’t worry, nothing happened.” He reassured you. You pulled down the cover and sat up to look at him like a mature adult, instead of hiding.

“That’s not even what I’m worried about.” You stated as he raised an eyebrow at your reply. “I know you, you wouldn’t do anything if I was under the influence. But I behaved like a caveman.” His deep chuckle made you want to burry yourself. You stood up trying to get out of the situation, but immediately regretted it when your head started pounding. You were about to lose your balance, when Alec stood up quickly and caught you by your waist. He made you stand back up, stabilising your body. You were in the same level as his well built chest muscles and you weren’t sure where to look not to go bright red again. “Would you mind putting on a shirt?” You asked bravely. You didn’t dare to look up at first, but when you finally did, you couldn’t take your eyes off of his smug grin. You knew he enjoyed the situation and you didn’t understand why. Alec was Mr. Serious. Everything had to happen by the books and everyone had to stay emotionless and serious at all times, focused on missions that weren’t even in plan yet. But for some reason, he was very into the situation and it just confused you. “Why are you smirking at me?” You questioned his behaviour, but he didn’t answer. “By the Angel, Alec put on a god damn shirt.” He laughed out loud, but let go of your waist and went to get a shirt. “What’s so funny?” You asked as you started getting agitated.

“Nothing. It’s just funny to see you all flustered.” He chuckled as he put on one of his black tight shirts. Your eyes widened at his reply.

“I’m happy you find enjoyment in it, however I don’t, that much.” You said sighing.

“I already sent an email out for a locksmith, so I’m assuming you already have access to your room.” He explained and you felt like you were being kicked out.

“Next time just say it clearly if you want to get rid of me.” You said pouting and took your cloths from the armrest of one of the sofas.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He said gently, but even though he has tried to take it back, you already decided in your stubborn little brain that he meant it the way you thought. Without a second glance you walked out of Alec’s room and headed to yours. You just wanted to take a shower, eat something and take a medicine to get rid of the pounding feeling in your head.


	7. L&L - Chapter 7. Story time pt.1 [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

After your little encounter with Alec on the morning, you just wanted to go to a mission and release all your frustration on killing demons. Not just killing them, but torturing them in every possible way, shape or form. It was horrible that you were thinking so aggressively, but you just couldn’t calm yourself down and in such cases your mind went to its most extreme thoughts. However, as lucky as you were, it seemed to be the calmest period of time of the year and you had no way to get out of the institute other than to party or train. Therefore you decided to invite Izzy to train with you in the park, to at least help getting things off your mind.

It was already evening and you have been fighting each other for over 3 hours, but your frustration didn’t seem to disappear. It actually seemed to get more unbearable. You could see Izzy getting tired and that frustrated you even more. You expected her to be on top, to be able to fight as if her life depended on it. You had hell of a lot of energy left, but she was panting at every turn. You growled to release some of your frustration.

“Get yourself together.” You said to her as you attacked her again after giving her a few seconds to rest. You ran at her with your seraph blade, but she dodged it. You have already practiced close contact fights, signature weapon strategies and you have tried to beat each other up in every possible way in the last three hours. But you didn’t seem to have had enough just yet.

“By the Angel, Y/N. What is wrong with you? You are killing me here.” Izzy said avoiding another attack from you. She has had enough finally and using her whip, she caught the seraph blade and pulled it out of your hands. She thought this would make you stop, but you took out your primary weapon, your daggers and attacked her again without a second thought.

She dodged your attack, but then using her whip, she decided to try to stop you for the last time. This time she focused her whip on you and looped it around your body, making you incapable of moving. She pulled you down and even though you have tried to resist, you fell on your knees.

“Now talk. What is your problem?” She asked, but you just turned away not wanting to talk about anything. “You do realise I have plenty of time, right? I can just sit around here while you are trying to get out of my whip’s hold. Which we both know, it will take a while.” You scoffed, but still didn’t start talking. “Well then, let’s play the guessing game.” She smirked and you grimaced at her not so brilliant idea. “Let’s see… a mission has gone bad.” She tried, but soon shook her head looking at your bored facial expression. “No, there was no mission yesterday and you seemed to be fine up until today.” She starting humming silently. “It must have something to do with a person.” She nodded, agreeing with herself. “Who could it be?” She placed a finger on her chin, getting deeper in her thoughts. “Did Jace piss you off again?” She asked rather herself than you. You just looked at her with a raised eyebrow. You didn’t like this game and so you still kept trying to get rid of the whip. Unsuccessfully. “Did Clary maybe invaded your privacy again?” She tried once again. This time referring to the ginger ball of positivity always following you around. At first it was fun, but it became quite annoying for you after some time. Especially when she always appeared when you wanted to see her the least. “I know!” Izzy shouted as if she has made an important discovery. You were waiting for her to spit it out finally.

“It’s Alec.” She said looking straight at you searching for clues. You growled in annoyance and she didn’t need any more than that to know, she has indeed found the base of your problem. “Let’s talk.” She said sitting down on a bench. She let go of you and pulled her whip back. You massaged your arms for a few seconds, meanwhile sending death glares at your parabatai. At last, however you decided to take a seat next to her while she was smiling at you happily. You knew she felt really proud of herself for finding your sweet spot. “So what is it?” She tried, focusing her complete attention on you.

“Do you remember last night?” You asked, hoping you wouldn’t have to explain everything to her. She nodded in response. “How much do you remember?” You asked and you could see she was collecting her thoughts.

“I mean, you got pretty wasted.” She nodded to herself and you hid your face in your hands. “I said to Alec that I would go over to a friend for the night.” You quietly chuckled at her use of words, but she just shot you a death glare. “The friend was a girl, Y/N.” She corrected, but you were still chuckling to yourself. “Oh, whatever.” She shook her head. “Anyways, he promised to bring you home after, so I assumed everything would be okay.” She explained calmly, but then if something has clicked in her, a huge, cheeky grin appeared on her face. “Oh wait! Why? Is there something juicy that I should know about?” The annoying grin grew bigger as you could imagine her naughty train of thoughts. You just wanted to grab her and scratch that smirk off her face. “Did something happen?” You didn’t want to waste time and went straight for the subject.

“Yes, something did. I woke up in your brother’s bed.” You quickly but quietly said it, hoping she wouldn’t hear it. But unfortunately, she did.

“WHAT?” She squealed. At first she was surprised, but then it changed to happiness. She threw her arms around you and pulled you into a warm hug. “Finally he took your feelings seriously? By the Angel, I have been waiting for this for so long. Since we met, I couldn’t have imagined anyone better next to my brother. I’m so happy, Y/N. I’m so happy for you.” She kept hugging you, almost breaking your bones. You coughed awkwardly, but she didn’t seem to mind. You tried again, but she didn’t pay attention.


	8. L&L - Chapter 8. Story time pt.2 [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

“WHAT?” She squealed. At first she was surprised, but then it changed to happiness. She threw her arms around you and pulled you into a warm hug. “Finally he took your feelings seriously? By the Angel, I have been waiting for this for so long. Since we met, I couldn’t have imagined anyone better next to my brother. I’m so happy, Y/N. I’m so happy for you.” She kept hugging you, almost breaking your bones. You coughed awkwardly, but she didn’t seem to mind. You tried again, but she didn’t pay attention. You decided to just go ahead and speak.

“You couldn’t be any farther from the truth.” You stated simply. She let go of you, meanwhile blinking at you with a confused expression sitting across her face.

“What do you mean?” She asked waiting for a reply impatiently.

“We didn’t sleep together or did anything you are thinking of.” You shook your head. “We did sleep next to each other, because there were no free rooms, I lost my key and basically I harassed him into sleeping next to me, half naked.” You explained and once again hid your face in your palms. Embarrassment running through your body again, you felt your face heat up. “And if that’s not enough humiliation, I basically served myself to him and he even rejected it.” You growled thinking back at what a loser you were. “The worst is, he knows my feelings, he knows the impact his presence is having on me. Why does he always make me feel like a shitty person?” You sighed. “I feel like I’m acting as a complete idiot around him all the time. Even I wouldn’t take my own feelings seriously, if I was him.” You explained and Izzy gently slapped you on the back of the head. “Hey!” You voiced your frustration.

“What are you talking about?” She frowned. “Yes, you do have your goofy moments, but if I was a boy, I would take you without a second thought.” She sighed. “You are an amazing fighter, with skills that half of the institute envy you for. You are really smart, which sometimes makes me feel like I’m nothing next to you. You are gorgeous, and it does make me feel jealous, even though I love you to bits. And your sarcastic remarks make you so much more lovable.” You felt warmth inside your body and you felt a small smile crawling its way up to your face. Izzy’s words made you happy and even though you didn’t believe half of what she said, you were just happy to know that such an amazing person became a part of your life. “And if after all of these, my brother still can’t take you seriously, then he is a complete idiot. Period.” She said with a reassuring smile. She stood up, pulled you up with her and cupped your face in her hands. “You deserve the best.” She winked and gave you a heartfelt hug.

“Thank you, Iz.” You replied gently. “I’m lucky to have you.”

“Awww… you never said that before.” She squealed quietly and you already regretted saying it when she tried to suffocate you with a hug.

“Okay, okay… too much cheesiness for today.” You tried to get out of her hug.

“Come on, you are rarely nice to me, let me enjoy the moment.” She pouted, but you luckily pealed her arms off of yourself.

“I still love you, but let’s love each other from a distance.” You winked with a cheeky smile appearing on your face.

“You are horrible.” She crossed her arms and started walking towards the institute.

“Come on Iz, you know I love you.” You tried lightening the situation, but she didn’t budge. “Hey!” You tried harsher, but she didn’t listen. She opened the door of the institute and walked in without taking a glance at you. “Hey!” You tried again as soon as you got in the building following the still pouting parabatai of yours. “Izzy!” You called, in a firm tone and she finally turned around from the entrance of the hall. The computer screens were flashing behind her as she stood in the hallway with crossed arms looking straight at you.

“I will forgive you on one condition.” She finally realised your existence. However she didn’t continue. She was waiting for a reply from you.

“I will not promise anything unless you tell me what you want.” You stated firmly.

“Fine, forget it.” She said and was about to walk away again.

“By the Angel, Izzy, stop behaving like a baby. What is it? Say it. I will do it.” You gave in finally and an evil smile appeared on your friend’s face. “That doesn’t look good.” You said quietly.

“You will have to go on a date.” She sang happily, but you could only frown at one of her stupidest ideas ever.

“What do you mean by date?” You asked uncertain.

“I mean, I will set you up with a hot guy and you will have the time of your life with him.” She said grinning like a baby getting a new toy.

“Sorry, Iz. Not happening.” You stated and walked past her to walk to your room. But she stopped you in the middle of the computer room.

“You will go. And you know why?” She asked, this time her face showing complete seriousness. “Because you are amazing and I want to see someone appreciating you as much as your friends and family do.” Her words went deep and you knew you wanted to feel appreciated, you wanted to feel loved. However you wanted to feel that from Alec. And in a way you knew it didn’t have much of a chance.

An unexpected quite cough came from the side. Both your and Izzy’s head snapped towards the source of the sound. Your eyes met two beautiful blue irises and you were certain that he heard the conversation between his sister and you. He didn’t say a word though. He was just looking at you before turning his attention towards one of the screens.

“Let’s talk about it later.” You replied looking at your parabatai. You saw that she had more to say, but you didn’t feel like talking. You passed Izzy and started walking towards your room. You felt very unhappy with the situation. You didn’t want Alec to know about it. You tried to convince him so many times, that your feelings were real, even if in a jokey way, but he still didn’t believe you. And even if he did, he always used the same excuses. Work and carrier. His definition of fun couldn’t be farther from the actual meaning of the word.

You arrived to your room and decided to put your thoughts aside and try to relax for the night. You went straight to your bathroom. The walls were light purple, the bath tub, the sink and the toilet were shining white. You walked up to your bath and opened the water tap. You put some candles around the bath tab and took out a bottle of sweet red wine from your mini-fridge right next to your nightstand. You just wanted to relax and close everything and everyone out of your mind, even if just temporarily. You threw your training cloths in the laundry basket right next to your sink and took out a purple towel, from the towel rack, placing it on the side of the bath tub. You climbed into the hot water right after you placed a pink bath bomb into it, making you feel like you were in the park on a warm spring day. You pulled out the screw cap quite easily as the wine has already been opened. You kept your wine in the fridge and you drank from the bottle. You knew you weren’t a princess, but even you were surprised how much you didn’t care about the norms. Either way it made you laugh, so you just gave in to the sweet taste of the alcohol and the warm sweet feeling of the water.


	9. L&L - Chapter 9. Preparations [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The next morning you woke up to an unrecognisable loud noise coming from closer than it should have. At first you weren’t sure where it was coming from as you were still too out of it to recognise the sounds. But soon enough you realised someone was banging loudly and dangerously powerfully on your wooden door. You wanted to just shout to the person to come in, but you knew you weren’t dressed for company. You lazily got out of your bed while still listening to the pounding on the door. You took off your red silk bathrobe from the clothing rail and opened the door.

“Finally, I thought you would never open it.” She complained and pushed past you to get into your room without an invitation. Not like she needed one. You were surprised she even knocked on the door. Although it was far from a knocking.

“Morning to you too, Iz.” You waved at her leather jacket covered back as she sat down on your bed.

“Yeah yeah.” She replied briefly waving you off.

“How may I help you?” You asked in fake politeness, but Izzy didn’t seem to mind. She knew you more than to get offended or misunderstand however you decided to address someone.

“Get ready by 7pm.” She stated without any further explanation. As she was about to get up, you walked up to her and pushed her back on the bed. She sat back looking up at you with a confused expression. Probably the same one that sat across yours.

“Care to explain?” You asked waiting for her to start talking while still standing in front of her firmly.

“You promised to go on a date.” She said shrugging her shoulders. “I thought it would be obvious that I am waisting no time in finding you a perfect match.” You wanted to deny that you even agreed to her stupid idea, but to be honest you wanted some attention and you felt like being selfish. But there was one silly thought in the back of your mind that you couldn’t just get rid of.

“But don’t you think it will affect my relationship with your brother badly?” You asked trying to get some reassurance. You weren’t sure if what you were about to do was the right decision.

“Honestly? It can only go two ways. Whether he will not take your feelings into consideration even as much as he did before, which was none, so you are back to where you are now or he will realise that he is having feelings for you. A bit of jealousy might make him understand that he is losing out on someone who could be the perfect match for him.” You didn’t want to admit it, but Izzy was right. You couldn’t have ended up in a worse situation anyway. It’s not like Alec cared for your feelings so far. You were just friends and you will continue to be friends either way.

“Fine.” You gave in and Izzy jumped up, throwing her arms around your neck and hugging you. “But do you maybe have a photo of who I am going out with? As far as I’m concerned, he could be a serial killer.” Izzy chuckled at your silly thoughts and shook her head.

“It will stay as a mystery.” She replied with a grin spreading across her face.

“Come on, now.” You pleaded. “You can’t do this to me.”

“But I can and I will. Just trust me on this one. I know the type of guys you like and need.” She smirked and waltzed out of your room happily. You sighed at the sight of her happiness. You weren’t as enthusiastic as before though.

You walked up to your wardrobe and started looking for something decent to wear. Standing in front of the bunch of cloths hanging in the furniture however made you feel so small. You didn’t even realise you had so many cloths. But that wasn’t even the problem. Other than your working cloths, your training outfits and some hoodies and leather jackets, you got nothing that was appropriate for a date. As you knew you were a lost cause, you walked out of your room and headed towards Izzy’s room. However before you could have gotten there, you heard her voice coming from Alec’s room.

“How can you be so dumb? She is going on a date tonight.” Your parabatai said.

“I know, but it’s none of my business.” He replied without any interest showing in his voice.

“Is that all you have to say?” Izzy tried to get him to admit his feeling for you. But you knew they were nonexistent.

“Izzy, this is the last time I am asking you. Do not get involved in our life. I am aware of Y/N’s feelings, but I can not return them unfortunately.” He sighed in frustration.

“I will not get involved again, don’t worry. But let me tell you something. Don’t come to me when you realise that you have feelings for her, because I will be on her case non-stop to find someone better than you so she can finally forget about you.” She hissed in anger.

“Good, you see that’s a good idea.” He agreed simply. You heard Izzy’s growl and stepped back a bit before she almost ripped the door out of its frame. Her cheeks were red and she was clearly upset. You let out a smile as soon as she realised your presence, even though she was very much surprised to see you.

“Y/N!” She called you. Alec appeared in the background with a shocked expression.

“I just needed to steal you for a bit.” You looked towards your parabatai. “I would need some help if you have got time.” You explained pretending as if you have not heard any parts of their conversation.

“Erm… yeah sure. Just go back to your room and I will be there in a second.” She asked and you did just like that.

“You see, now you lost her. I am sure she has heard what we were talking about so well done.” She scolded her brother. You were standing in the doorway of your room eavesdropping, but quickly sat down in front of your wardrobe when you heard Izzy’s high-heels getting closer.

She walked into your room and sat down next to you. You didn’t say anything nor did she. You were just sitting next to each other in silence.

“I know you heard it all.” She stated almost whispering.

“I did. Not all, but the last part” You admitted. “But it’s okay. We already suspected it, Iz. It’s cool.” You smiled. But were not happy. You were hoping after your conversation with Magnus, that he could be right. You were hoping after you woke up in Alec’s room, that he might have just started feeling something. You felt dumb for thinking that way.

“Every time you say it’s cool, I know it actually means the opposite.” She knew you way too well. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head in response. “Fine, I guess you wanted me to help you with the cloths.” You nodded it response. “Well, let’s do it then.” She stood up and started searching for something that wouldn’t make you look like a serial killer.


	10. L&L - Chapter 10. The unexpected date [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

It was 7:10pm and you were already late. You were supposed to meet your date at 7pm sharp, but you took too long to get ready. And you didn’t understand why. You were wearing a simple black choker bodycon dress, your usual black ankle boots and white leather jackets. Your make up was consisting of mascara and black eyeshadow. You just couldn’t understand what made you late, but it got you annoyed.

You arrived to the meeting point, which was a simple bus stop in the heart of Brooklyn. You didn’t see anyone and even if you tried to look for the person, you had no idea how he looked like. While you were waiting you were reading the timetable on the side of the bus stop. When you finished, you started reading the advertisements taped to the glasses. You looked at your phone and you realised your date has been late for over 30 minutes. “Maybe something urgent came up.” You thought so you decided to wait a bit longer. You started playing Sudoku on your phone at first, but when you got bored of it, you chose to play with a game called Block. When you got tired of that too, you started looking around the streets wishing to see at least a mundane, but it seemed awfully empty even for a Sunday night.

You started walking around the bus stop just to pass the time. But it seemed like time has stopped and forgot to inform you about it.

You heard a loud banging noise coming from the alley behind the bus stop. You immediately reached for your dagger in your bag. You wanted to get your stele as well, but you couldn’t find it. That’s when you remembered leaving it on top of your table. You quickly scolded yourself for being so dumb, but you didn’t take too much time to do so. Slowly you walked up to the narrow street and looked into it. You didn’t see anything but the light of the other street at the end. You walked in, to have a look around.

As you started getting closer to the other side of the alley, you felt a strange smell. A strong, dark, garbage-like smell you knew too well. Before you could even react you felt heavy breathing coming from behind you. You turned around immediately, but it was too late. The monstrosity of creature growled at you and with a simple slap threw your body to the wall. You were in pain, but you just ignored it and threw one of your daggers towards the heart of the demon. To your surprise, he avoided it. He seemed like a low-rated demon and it concerned you that he got out of your dagger’s way so easily. You started running towards him to stab him, but once again you missed. You started getting frustrated.

His big claws however didn’t miss and they ended up ripping into your dress, leaving bloody claw marks on your body. As you didn’t have your stele you were unable to use any of your runes. You had to endure the pain until you killed that bastard. Once again you attacked him. You focused on his leg to slow him down. You stabbed your daggers into each of his legs which caused the demon to scream in a high pitched noise. You pulled out your weapon from his body and without wasting time you picked up the other dagger wedged into the wall. You quickly turned around and this time you focused your weapon on the back of his leg. He let out another painful cry, but you didn’t stop. You raised your dagger above your head and with full force, you stabbed into his heart. He tried to turn around to attempt a last attack on you, but he wasn’t successful. He fell on the ground, but still didn’t give up. He tried to crawl towards you, until he finally grabbed hold of your ankle. You tried to shake it off, but you couldn’t. At last, using your other leg, you kicked him on the head. When his body turned into ashes, you knew it was finally over.

You looked down on yourself and sadly realised that your dress was ruined, your white jacket was covered in blood and you were still bleeding. You wanted to get on a bus and just get back to the institute, but you knew that you couldn’t actually get on the bus in that state, so you decided to just walk home.

Walking back towards the bus stop, you still haven’t seen anyone. You felt in a way disappointed for thinking too much into it, and betrayed for being left to wait for nothing. You tried to walk through the small streets and dark alleys not to meet mundanes as in your state it wasn’t the best idea for them to see you.

When you finally arrived to the Institute, you only had one thought. Bed. You knew you had to shower and heal your wounds, but you only wanted your bed in that moment. As you walked in the door and closed it behind you, you straight away met the eldest Lightwood sibling.

“Y/N?” Alec asked looking up and down on you. “What happened?” His eyes grew bigger in confusion.

“I had some unexpected encounter with a Damon.” You explained while waving it off as if it was not important.

“Were you attacked?” He asked bluntly.

“Erm..” You started and looked down on yourself. “I think my state gives you a quite obvious answer, don’t you think?” You chuckled.

“It’s not funny. The lacerations on your stomach…” He pointed at the middle part of your body. “Why didn’t you heal yourself?”

“I forgot my stele on my table.” You said while shrugging.

“What did you just say?” He raised his voice, but just enough so it wouldn’t be too obvious for the others working in the hall. “Are you really that stupid? You could have died.” He hissed in anger. His behaviour confused you and you just couldn’t place it anywhere.

“Well I clearly am fine and I don’t think I have risked the Institute or the Shadowhunters.” You explained in frustration. “If anything I only risked myself, so I don’t get why you are having a go at me.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“You just explained my problem. You risked your life.” He growled and you have never seen his eyes so dark.

“Awww, you are worried about me?” A huge grin appeared across your face. “Aren’t you sweet?” You stepped closer and pinched his cheeks in the way your grandma did it to you when you were little. Your mood has been lifted and you didn’t even care about your date not showing up anymore.

“Of course.” He sighed. “You are like my sister.” Your smile disappeared in seconds and a bored expression replaced it.

“Well, that ruined the moment quickly.” You said in an annoyed tone. He just shook his head. He knew what you meant even without asking. He always tried to avoid the conversations about your feelings. “I guess I am going to put myself away for tomorrow. B-bye” You waved at him and walked to your room to heal yourself and clean off the dirt from all over your body. 


	11. L&L - Chapter 11. Let me be [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The next morning you woke up to a very loud pounding noise. You barely opened your eyes when your parabatai decided to let herself in.

“Wake up.” She said not carrying about your beauty sleep. She sat down on the bottom of your bed, waiting for you impatiently.

“Of course you can come in.” You said sarcastically while trying to get out in a completely not lady like manner. Almost like rolling off your bed. “I feel like you are getting way too comfortable nowdays. If you are not damaging my door, then you simply just let yourself in.” You huffed.

“Well you are my parabatai, I know you don’t mind.” She said playing with her nails.

“Do I not?” You chuckled. “I still need my privacy, dear.”

“Yeah, yeah. Get to the subject. How did the date go?” She smirked waiting for you to get into some juicy story. So you did.

“I have to tell you, you really do not know me.” You started shaking your head. “I thought looking at your brother, you would have realised the type of guys I am interested in.” She frowned in confusion. “I mean of course I don’t expect the guy to look exactly the same like Alec, but come on Iz, he was nothing like my type. He was big and mushy and smelled so bad. And let’s not talk about manners, very rude.” You continued innocently. “He was waiting for me in a dark alley, which creeped me out. He was also late, you know? Which I didn’t find acceptable.” You huffed. “I expected more from you, Iz.” You finished your story in a disappointed tone.

“I just can not believe that.” She said still frowning. “Jake is way more attentive.” She started searching for something in the pocket of her leather jacket, which made you suspicious.

“What are you doing.” You asked as she took out her phone and started dialling.

“I am calling Jake.” She said simply. “This is unacceptable. Noone treats my parabatai in such way.” She spat in disappointment. You quickly jumped over to her and took her phone away, hiding it behind your back. “What are your doing?” She asked while standing up to be on the same level with you.

“It’s okay Iz, just calm down.” You pushed her back on the side of the bed. “I was messing with you.” By the look on her face, she seemed surprised. “He didn’t even show up.” You chuckled at how worked up Izzy got.

“What? Give me my phone back.” She tried to get behind your back unsuccessfully. “I will teach him how to treat girls.” She hissed.

“Izzy, calm down.” You pushed her hand away. “It’s fine, I didn’t really feel like dating anyway.” You said. Actually you weren’t sure yourself. You really liked the eldest Lightwood, but it seemed you had no chance to ever go on even one date with him. In a way you wanted to be loved and cared for, but in another way, you didn’t need someone else to burden you. “Just let it go.”

“How can I let it go?” She asked in anger. “Noone can treat my family like that.”

“Yes, it is not nice and I appreciate your worry, but I really couldn’t care less.” You shrugged it off. She just shook her head in disbelief.

“I’m sorry though.” She kept looking down on the floor.

“I accept your apology on one condition.” You smiled gently.

“What would that be?” You could see the curiosity shining in her eyes.

“Please, don’t ever try to make me go on a date.” You simply said.

“But Y/N…” She started, but you cut her off.

“You know how much I like your stupid brother, right?” She nodded. “I don’t think I am ready to date. Alec means a lot to me, even if that idiot can not see it. I know eventually I have to get over it, which is fine. But for now, please just le me be. I don’t need an extra burden in my life right now. I just want to be alone.” You explained reassuring her that you were in a good place.

“No, you want to be with him. Him only.” She understood you even when you didn’t say it out loud.

“Yes, but because that is not plausible, I just want to be on my own. Can you understand that?” You asked while tilting your head, waiting for an answer.

“Yes, I do. I just don’t want to see you broken hearted.” She sighed.

“I know, but that’s life. If I have to be, I will be. If things turn out differently, then I will not be. You never know.” You smiled confidently.

“Fine, Ms. Wise.” She chuckled.


	12. L&L - Chapter 12. Vampire issue [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were walking along the corridors to get to the Hall. There were reports of a couple of vampires going rouge which made the Institute busier than usual. Many Shadowhunters have been sent in the last couple of days to take care of the “issue” but came back injured and with an unsuccessful mission. Maryse was currently back in the Institute as the Clave felt that Alec was not in full control of whatever was happening in New York. They decided they needed a stronger hand for a temporary time.

As you arrived to the hall, Maryse was already explaining what they knew about the vampires. Which was basically none. Other than attacks on mundanes, the Shadowhunters were unable to gather much information.

“What did I miss?” You asked as you walked up to Izzy and Jace. Alec was standing next to Maryse on the top of the stairs, while Clary was looking at something on the computer.

“We were told that two more teams will be sent out to eliminate the vampires.” Izzy explained. “But if it doesn’t go well, then it’s our turn.” You looked at her frowning.

“If they fail, Maryse said we have to go. The five of us have to find a way to complete the mission. But they seem damn strong.” Jace took over Izzy’s words.

“Oh well, we just have to face them then. It’s not like they are any different from other rouge Downworlders.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“19.” Jace started. “They have injured nineteen of our people. Six of them are already dead. The infirmary is basically full. They are so severely injured that even the Silent Brothers are having difficulties healing them. And if that wasn’t enough, they were basically drained of their blood and left to dry out when we found them. All nineteen of them.” I frowned at his explanation.

“They are just vampires though.” You stated. You didn’t mean to degrade vampires, but you have fought so many of them already that it didn’t seem any special anymore.

“That’s the problem, you see?” He looked straight at you as Maryse finished her monologue. “There is something about them.” Jace frowned.

You were thinking hard about what you have just heard. You knew vampires very well, you had so many encounters with them. They were indeed very strong, but not as much to cause such a mess in the Institute and the City. Especially because it was usually demons that you had to fight with, not Downworlders. Although it has happened in many occasions already as they tend to lose control around anyone with blood. You felt like you were unable to think properly, so you decided to just go and grab something to eat. You were hungry, and when you were hungry, you couldn’t use your brain as it was intended to.

You went to the cafeteria and took some carbonara which was on menu for the third time that week. You were getting bored of it, but a hungry stomach is definitely not a picky stomach. You just sat down and started stuffing your face without a care. You started looking around, reading people. You liked to do that. You loved to pay attention to other’s body language. It was fascinating for you. You loved the fact that even without words, you could read how people connected to one another.

Like the guy who was sitting in front of you. You weren’t sure who that was, but you were sure he was not interested in what the girl was saying as his head was falling backwards and his arms were crossed in front of his chest. However the girl, Libby, if you remembered well, was elbowing on the table, leaning towards the guy, almost getting lost in her own story. They were on such different emotional level, you just had to laugh.

You couldn’t enjoy people’s behaviour so long as your phone started vibrating. Alec’s name flashed on the screen as you have received a message. You opened it excitedly, but as always, you had to get disappointed. There were only three words in it. “Hall at 10pm.” You looked at your watch which showed 9.48pm. You decided to put your tray on the tray holder and head towards the hall. It didn’t take you more than five minutes, but you had nothing better to do.

Of course you were not the first one. When Alec messaged, everyone jumped. You were actually the last one to arrive even though you had more than five minutes left. You walked next to the table which was surrounded by screens, and took your place on Alec’s side.

“Missed us already, huh? Sweet.” You teased but he just rolled his eyes and gave you a deadly look. You didn’t take it seriously though. It was just like him. “Playing hard to get?” You continued while the others tried to hold back their laughters.

“Y/N…” He started in a warning tone. “I do not have the time for this right now.” He hissed in annoyance. But you didn’t just stop there. You knew better. Or not.

“You seem frustrated, darling.” You stated innocently. “Let’s talk about your problems.” You smirked. You knew you were annoying him. That was the only way he ever gave you his attention, other than when you took care of each other on missions or when you needed help. He hissed in anger. You wanted to continue, but Jace elbowed into you. “What?” You looked up at him. He nodded towards Alec and when you looked that way, you also realised that you might not have chosen the best time. “Fine.” You gave in. Alec didn’t waste time though. He started his monologue.

“So, I asked you to come here to discuss how we want to go on about this mission.” He opened some files on the screens for us to see. “Don’t get me wrong, I do not think that the other two teams are any less powerful than us, but I want us to be prepared.” It was just usual from him. Always in work mode. “As we know the attacks usually happen around central Brooklyn. If we go in teams first, and then individually canvass some of the areas, hopefully we can find them before they could find us.” He zoomed in on some of the photos that have been take on the scenes.“ As you can see they don’t just drink the blood and drain out mundanes, but they also attack them. It makes me think that it isn’t just about the thirst for blood. The Shadowhunters who have been attacked have also said the same things.” He has opened the reports taken from the missions. “They tortured them every single times. In conclusion, it could be revenge of some kind.” Even without his explanation, you were thinking the same. It didn’t just seem like normal vampire attacks. If that could even be normal. Alec was going on about which area to start, what time you would arrive there, what formations you should be using, how you would communicate while individually investigating. Alec had an idea for everything. He seemed like he has been studying the case for a while. That’s one of the reasons that made you not understand why the Clave thought that the New York Institute was not under control. In your eyes, they were useless. People sitting around doing nothing, just giving orders. They don’t even look at how well Shadowhunters and Institutes performing until there’s an issue. It made you angry. You didn’t hate the Clave, but you weren’t happy with them either. “Is everything clear?” Alec asked, waking you up from you thoughts. Everyone nodded and decided to leave for their rooms as it was almost midnight already.

You looked back at Alec and was thinking of going up to him, to talk to him, to calm him down. Stress was clearly showing on his face. But you decided otherwise. You weren’t the right person for this. He never thought you were one to rely on, other than in action. You turned around and walked back to your room.


	13. L&L - Chapter 13. Bet [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

After all the information you have received in regards to the vampires and the mission, you needed something to just let out your energy. You were frustrated as you have not been on missions for a couple of days and you really needed to go and kick some ass.

When you arrived to the training room, you could hear it was already occupied. You opened the door slightly to look inside and felt your face immediately heat up at the sight.

It was Jace fighting against Alec. Which wasn’t an unusual sight.

However whenever you saw the eldest Lightwood half naked, sweating and trying to beat someone up while his muscles tensed and loosened on his body, you just had this ticklish feeling in the pit of your stomach. You smiled at the sight, but then stood back. You didn’t want to seem like a stalker. But then you didn’t want to deprive your eyes from such a sight either.

You decided to just walk in.

You opened the door and took a seat on one of the mattresses used for exercises, while throwing your training bag on the bench next to it. You kept looking at the view and you couldn’t have found a better thing to do in that moment. You felt like a stupid fangirl. But who cares.

Your eyes met Jace’s and you started smirking. This made him lose his balance, resulting in Alec being able to throw him on his back. He groaned in frustration and in pain. You chuckled at the sight and clapped happily.

“Oh.” Was all Alec’s surprised reaction. 

“Well done.” You said, getting a nod in reply. “Are you okay Jace?” You asked walking over to the injured party still laying on the ground.

“All cool.” He replied while forcing himself into a standing position again. “What are you doing here?” He asked. You frowned.

“What can a person do in a training centre?” You asked. “Oh , look… train.” You said in a bored tone.

“You are so smart, aren’t you?” He replied in the same tone and you started nodding heavily.

“Thank you for realising.” You chuckled.

“Well if you plan to train, then please start it and let us continue.” Alec interrupted.

“To stop looking at this…?” You looked up and down on him. “Nah, will continue learning from the way you practice.” You smirked happily.

“Aren’t you bored of it?” Alec hissed. You knew he was angry, but unfortunately you didn’t know any other way to get his attention. You knew you always made him mad and annoyed. But you also knew he cared about you. Only in a different way.

“Of looking at you? You need a mirror. This is the peak point of my day.” You laughed loudly.

“By the Angel, Y/N. Please just stop it.” He asked massaging his temple. “I am really getting tired of it.” He shook his head. “At first it was annoying and I just cursed you quietly. Then at some point it became funny, I can’t deny that.” A tiny, barely visible smile appeared on his face, but then it disappeared as quick as it came. “But I am at a point where I am getting angry and tired of it. So please just stop this behaviour.” He almost begged you, and you started to realise how childish and pushy you have become. But you couldn’t just let it settle like that. You were way too determined.

“Fine, let’s have a bet.” You said while a confused expression spread across that handsome face of his. He frowned, but you could see the interest in his eyes, which actually made you surprised for a split second. It was unusual for him to show interest in anything other than practicing, missions or the Institute.

“I’m listening.” He didn’t even take his eyes off you. It was like he could see through you. At least that’s how you felt.

“Let’s have a bit of a competition. We will fight with each other for 3 rounds. If you win at least 2 rounds out of three, I will stop nagging you, annoying you, bothering you. Whatever you like to call it.” A small smirk appeared on his face. You knew he was way too confident, and he could already feel the win in his hands. “However, if I can win at least 2 rounds, you have to go on a date with me.” His smirk disappeared immediately and his expression changed to more of an annoyed look. You still smiled, you didn’t show it, but obviously it didn’t feel good to see your crush having such negative feelings towards you. “What do you think?” You waited for a confirmation.

“Fine.” He said and you actually were surprised. You hoped, but didn’t expect him to go along with it. “When?” He asked without hesitation.

“Now.” You replied. You were determined to win a date with Alec Lightwood and you wanted it now. Especially as you had a bit of a help on your hand. Since Jace and Alec were fighting before, he did lose some of his energy, which was in your favour.

Alec didn’t reply though. He walked to the equipment closet and took out two wooden sticks. He threw one of them at you, while he kept the other for himself.

“Jace, you will be the Judge. If you see anything that doesn’t look right, stop it.” You instructed him.

“Hey, that’s not fair. He is clearly on your side.” Alec frowned.

“Well I guess someone will have to prepare for a date.” You chuckled loudly followed by Jace.

“Let’s just get it over with.” Alec just sighed and let out an annoyed growl.

Alec - without hesitation - immediately went for the attack. He tried to hit your leg at first, but was unable to do so as you dodged his attempt. He went for your ribs, but once again he was unsuccessful when you redirected his hit with your stick. Next he tried to go for your back, but you turned around and as you protected yourself on all the sensitive places, he was once again ineffective. Fighting isn’t about just hitting different spots and waiting for the other person to give up of the pain. Finding just one spot that could bring you down, was the whole point of the match. So far you have been defending yourself, but you decided to change that. You attacked him this time. You have missed his ribs, his thighs, his elbow, but as if a miracle happened, you realised that he was not protecting his legs. You took your wooden stick and went straight for the back of his knee. His eyes widened when he realised what you were about to do, but he was too late. You pulled his leg towards you and he landed on his back with a loud thumping sound.


	14. L&L - Chapter 14. Hidden feelings [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

“The winner of the 1st round is Y/N.” Jace shouted joyfully. You smirked at his comment, but offered your hand to Alec to help him get up. He just pushed it away and got up as quick as he could on his own.

“Someone is a sore looser.” You laughed, but you could see how badly it affected him, that he lost. Especially to you. He didn’t really lose to people, as usually it was him who won the fights. Occasionally Jace could beat him up, but even that didn’t happen often. The fact that you won against him, however made him even more determined and pissed off. You had a bad feeling all of a sudden.

“Oh what is happening here?” Izzy walked in the room along with Clary. Clary sat down next to Jace, while Izzy stood still looking at you in confusion.

“They are fighting.” Jace said simply, getting a frustrated look from Izzy. She obviously wanted to know more. You just chuckled at her reaction. “I will explain while they are fighting.” He continued, to make your parabatai feel at ease. “You two, next round.” He instructed.

You went back to your positions again. This time Alec’s attacks were way more powerful. You could defend yourself, but you were unable to find the opportunity for a counter attack. He has tried to find all the essential points to cause you to go down, but you were strong enough not to let him. Compared to the previous fight, it was going way longer. You could hear Jace, Clary and Izzy whispering at the background, but you couldn’t concentrate on them, if you wanted to win. You were getting a bit tired even though usually your stamina was spot on. And to be honest it didn’t help that the Lightwood was standing in front of you still half naked and sweating over you, only inches away.

As that thought crossed your mind, as if you have lost focus, Alec started an attack on your thighs, which made you fall over, almost facepalming the mattress.

“One and one I guess.” Jace said in the least enthusiastic way. And even though you lost and you were on the floor laying in the least feminine way, you let out a silent chuckle. It was funny how he was indeed on your side instead of his parabatai.

“Love the support.” Alec rolled his eyes in response. A cheeky smile appeared on your face at Alec’s sarcasm. You just loved that side of him. Even if you had nothing else in common, at least sarcasm was there.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get this thing over with.” Jace said. You saw Izzy and Clary getting up and walking away. You were slightly confused until Izzy turned back around and looked at you.

“I have a few things to take care of Y/N, but if you lose, I will torture you.” She had a huge grin spreading across her face at her own words. You returned the gesture and slowly nodded in agreement.

Alec and you stood in position for the last time. You were at a tie and you wanted this win more than anything in a while.

You attacked first, but without a problem Alec turned it around and you ended up in a defensive position. He went full on, not even caring about hurting you. You didn’t want to give up though. As much as it was painful to see how much he wanted you to stop harassing him, you were not the type to give up. But you knew if you lost, you had no choice. You always kept you words. He quickly moved behind you, and you had to duck down as he almost hit you on the face with the wooden stick. It could have hurt bad. You tried to hit his leg, but he reacted quicker and stopped your attack just in time. You have tried a couple of times again, but your efforts seemed to be unsuccessful. You didn’t even realise when he disappeared from in front of you and reappeared behind you pulling your legs out and making you fall over. You hit the mattress with your fist in frustration.

“I guess, I won.” Alec said proudly but in such a cocky way.

“I guess, you did.” You got up and tried to smiled whole heartedly but it was more painful. “Well done.” You congratulated him and decided to just leave. You picked up your training bag from the bench and started walking outside. Jace quickly ran upto you and stopped you.

“Are you okay?” He whispered, trying to avoid Alec to hear his words.

“Of course, don’t worry about me. This is not the first time I’ve lost.” You chuckled.

“You know that is not what I meant.” You put your hand on his shoulder and this time your gentle smile was genuine.

“Jace! I did everything I could to win. But unfortunately I couldn’t win at the end. I made a bet which I lost. It’s nothing special. I will still like Alec, I will just stop acting like a 15 years old fangirl with a brain injury.” You chuckled at your own words.

“Exactly that is my issue. That lively person is you. That’s your personality. Will it not be hard to give that up?” Worry clearly showed in his voice.

“Jace, believe me. I am completely fine.” You ruffled his well made hair, which he took in by surprise.

“Hey!” He pushed your hand away.

“Don’t worry about me.” You winked at him. “I’m a strong girl. It was just a bet. It will not affect me in any way, other than shutting my pretty little mouth when I should have done so a long time ago.” You grinned at him to reassure him that you were completely fine.

“Just let me know, if you need anything.” He sighed.

“Actually there is something.” You stated. “Stop worrying about completely unnecessary things. I’m all good and you need to stop overreacting.” You pushed his shoulder in a jokey way. “But thank you though. Much appreciated.”

“Are you coming, Jace?” Alec interrupted you. Jace looked at you for a last time and walked back to his friend. You however just continued on the way out. 


	15. L&L - Chapter 15. Aftermath [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You left the guys behind, after your loss against Alec, but you couldn’t completely leave just yet. You walked to the left side of the door and sat down on the floor, next to its frame. You wanted to go to your room and just hide for a bit. You definitely weren’t fine. But you felt like a damn good actress. You weren’t sure how you were able to hide how hurt you were in reality. But you seemed to have done just fine, because Jace didn’t suspect a thing. Or so you thought until you heard Jace’s voice coming out of the training room. “You know you hurt her, right?” Jace said to Alec almost whispering. But you heard it just fine.

“Why? I didn’t hit her that hard.” He replied in confusion and you wanted to facepalm yourself. Was he really that dumb when it came to people?

“You idiot.” Jace scolded him. “I meant her feelings. She really does like you and even if she shows it in a weird way, she just wanted your attention.”

“Jace, I don’t have time for things like girls and love and relationships. They are such a waste of energy.” He explained, frustration clearly showing in his voice.

“I am the most powerful, when I know that Clary is with me. It’s not a waste of energy. It’s a power boost. And you should give it a try before you lose her. She will not like you forever.” You were grateful for Jace’s words, but you knew Alec too well. They were empty words for him.

“Well, then she will move on and she will be happy with someone who can give her the attention she needs.” You could hear Alec’s voice as if it was coming from farther and farther. It wasn’t because you have moved or because he has changed place, simply it was hurting so much, that you rather started closing them out.

“No, she doesn’t need it. She deserves it. You are just blind to see it.” He sighed. “But I know one thing. I know you very well. There’s a reason why you are my parabatai. And you will realise what you have lost. And when that time comes, I will be next to you, you will be able to rely on me, but you will be hurting damn bad.” You gently smiled at Jace’s words and decided to just leave them be. You eavesdropped enough and as bad as you were feeling at that moment, Jace made you feel slightly better even without him knowing.

As you arrived to your room, you closed it behind yourself as soon as you could. You slid down the frame and started thinking. You weren’t really sure what to do or what to say anymore. You got used to teasing him so much, that it became a daily task. Now that you have promised him not to do it anymore, it just felt strange. It was kind of like a connection between the two of you and by stopping, you felt like losing a part of you. Which felt strange.

You decided to take a shower and cool yourself down. You let the water run while throwing your cloths in the laundry basket. You put some scented bath-bombs into the water and sat inside it. It smelled like you were in a field, covered in all kinds of flowers. It made you relax and that is just what you needed. You wanted to enjoy more of your self-healing, but someone thought otherwise. Loud knocking sound was coming from your bathroom door, which made you feel a bit uneasy. You didn’t feel comfortable being in your Eve-costume while another person was standing on the other side of the door. You never even walked around naked in your room, even if the door was locked.

“Yes?” You tried to get information on your invader.

“When are you coming out?” Your heard your parabatai’s voice.

“Seriously, you should just move into my room. You are coming and going like it’s yours.” You chuckled. You didn’t see it, but you knew she was rolling her eyes. Which made you remember Alec. You shook your head and tried to get rid of the unwanted thoughts.

“Very funny, Y/N. Now, please. When are you coming out?” You could hear her feet thumping on the floor, annoyed.

“Give me 5 minutes and I am all ready for your service.” You laughed out loud.

“I’m counting.” She said strictly, but you knew she was smiling.

When you got out of the water, you realised your hands were already wrinkled even though you haven’t even been in the water for that long. Or so you thought. When you looked at the watch on your phone’s screen, you realised how late it was already. You took your purple towel off the rail and started drying yourself off. You didn’t bother dressing up, it was only Iz after all. You just put on your black silk bathrobe and entered your bedroom.

“How may I help, your majesty?” You chuckled, but she just rolled her eyes in response, while trying to hide the smile creeping up on her lips.

“I heard what happened.” She sat down on the chair next to your table. You very well knew what she meant. “Jace told me everything.” You didn’t respond or react in any way. “Alec is so stupid.” She said and this time you laughed. You didn’t laugh out of happiness. You laughed because you found the situation comical.

“I am fine Iz. I will get over it. It’s not like I haven’t had worst things in my life.” You replied but you were indeed in a bad place.

“And you expect me to believe that, how exactly?” She asked raising an eyebrow suspiciously. “Don’t forget that I am your parabatai. Sometimes, in some cases, I know you better than you know yourself.” She was so right. You knew yourself, but sometimes you had the feeling she knew what you wanted to say or do before it even formed in you head as a thought. 

“Can’t argue with that.” You replied simply.

“So how do you expect me to believe that you are fine?” She questioned you.

“Okay, to be completely honest with you, I do feel down. But my life doesn’t revolve around Alec and my feelings. There are more important things out there. Yes, I might feel like a bulldozer ran over me, but I will be fine, eventually. I don’t really have a choice.” You explained and this time she believed you. She knew when you were being truthful.

“Just let me know if it’s too hard. I don’t want to see you upset.” She sighed. You walked over to her and gave her a hug. It was very rare from you to show affection, but this time it just felt right. She happily returned the hug and comfortingly started patting your back.

“Thank you.” You said gratefully.


	16. L&L - Chapter 16. Avoiding [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The next couple of days, when you met Alec, you just acted normal. No more teasing, no more joking, no more extra attention on him. It was incredibly hard, but you weren’t just known for your determination, but also for keeping your words. You promised to Alec not to get in his way and you were keeping yourself to that. When you met on the hall way or on the corridor you just said a simple “Hi!” to each other and just passed by. When you were eating together with Alec, Jace, Clary and Izzy, you put all of your attention on the last three mentioned. You didn’t do it, because you wanted to be rude. You did it to help yourself get over him quicker. Which meant trying to close him out and avoid him as much as possible.

Talking about it seemed to be an easy task, but experiencing it was cruel reality. Seeing the person you have liked, dare to say maybe even felt more for, and trying to avoid him was a mission on its own. Especially when the person appeared every five minutes wherever you went.

At some point you were thinking that your behaviour had some effects on him as you were feeling like he was looking at you, almost like staring at you more often than ever.

But you just took it as your brain was playing a game with you. You just pushed those kind of thoughts to the back of your mind and locked them away for good.

You were preparing to go out at night as Magnus invited you to the Pandemonium with the others. This time it wasn’t a private party though. You were just going clubbing, like a normal night out. You washed your hair, done your make up and laid out your cloths - chosen by Izzy - on your bed.

However before getting all ready, you put on some tracksuits to attend to the meeting Alec arranged, to discuss some things about the mission you were preparing for. The vampires were still causing issues and the other two teams have failed, therefore it was your turn to get into action. You walked to the hall, where everyone was waiting for you. Once again you seemed to be the last one to arrive which started to become an annoying habit of yours. You joined the table they stood around and nodded at the others as a form of greeting.

You tried completely closing out Alec’s presence and tried to only focus on the information given. It was only a brief meeting about some of the last things to discuss as you had only 1 day left before you were all going on the mission.

When Alec finished his monologue and made sure that everyone understood the plan, all of you started leaving the hall to return to the rooms. However Jace had a different idea. He followed you and stopped you halfway the corridor.

“Y/N.” He called our for you. You turned around to face him and looked at him questioning.

“Don’t give up.” He said, but he just made you so confused. You didn’t have a clue on what he was talking about. “Don’t give up on Alec.” He clarified and you just rolled your eyes in response. “I am not joking or trying to make you feel upset. I am being genuine.” He explained.

“And why are you coming to me with this?” You asked with bored tone.

“Because since you have stopped teasing him, he has changed.” He smiled gently.

“Yay, I guess.” Your sarcasm clearly showed your interest in the subject matter.

“I am being serious. He misses the attention you have given him.” He continued enthusiastically.

“Buy him a dog then.” You snorted and started walking away.

“I am telling you, since you have stopped hanging around him, he feels empty. He said it himself. He has been looking at you all the time and it seems, this time it’s you who doesn’t realise it.” You didn’t want to believe him. It would have been too painful to. You were on the way to finally put Alec and your feelings behind you. Or at least to try harder. But then Jace ruined it. “He misses you.” A gentle smile spread across his face as he said the last three words.

However for you, when you heard those particular three words, that was the last strike in the conversation. “Let’s stop this discussion now. I do not want to ever hear about it, are we clear?” You were firm and waited for no answer. You have left the dumbfounded boy standing alone in the hallway and walked back to your room to get ready.

The conversation stirred something up in you and you felt like a heavy object was sitting across your chest. You wanted to forget the whole conversation that just happened between you and Jace, but how could you? You were giving up on him, in a way finally successfully, when Jace appeared with those ridiculous ideas. As if it was true. You were mad at him for trying to ruin the wall that you built back around you again.

It took you a long time to destroy it, but it was worth it because you gained new friends, a soul mate in your parabatai and a person you fell for, since you have left England. But it took you such a short amount of time to get it back. You were surprised that Jace thought that he could change you just by those few words, but he was clearly wrong. He shook you for sure, but it wasn’t enough to turn back to the way you were especially as your words bound you. And what were you supposed to do anyway? Walk up to Alec and tell him that you knew he liked you? What a ridiculous idea. As much as you wanted to do that, you weren’t confident in him when it came to your feelings. Hell, you weren’t even confident about yourself. You decided to just forget about your conversation with Jace for now and let all the steam out in the party. You needed out and you needed a bit of fun.


	17. L&L - Chapter 17. Surprise [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

It was already 9pm and you were finishing up getting ready. You felt comfortable in your cloths, you felt confident in yourself, and you felt ready to let go a bit. You were wearing a white crop top with beige baggy trousers which came up to your waist, along with a black belt which was hanging loose on the side. You also had a cropped leather jacket and a pair of black combat boots to go with it. Accessory-wise, you didn’t go all out, you simply wore a black plain chocker, which was your favourite to be honest.

You were happy with your choices and confidently walked out of your room. You barely walked through the hallway when you met Alec. You still felt a bit awkward, because you just wanted to say something to tease him, or joke around with him. But you couldn’t and it seemed to be a harder task than you expected when you made the bet.

He looked at you and you expected him to just turn away, but he didn’t. He kept looking at you longer than it felt comfortable. You suddenly remembered your conversation with Jace, about Alec’s feelings, it made the eye contact even more awkward for you. You knew he was to stay behind, as he didn’t want to join the party, therefore you just nodded and left him, before you could have said something embarrassing.

Jace, Clary and Izzy were already waiting for you outside. You walked to the back of the institute, where a portal was already waiting for you, thanks to Magnus. You stepped in one by one, being pulled through to arrive to the Pandemonium. It took only a few seconds for you to enter the club as you didn’t have to queue.

Inside you met Magnus and greeted each other with a friendly hug. You ordered the first, the second and the third drink. You were tipsy, but was still in control of yourself. Jace and Clary danced together, completely forgetting about Izzy and you. But you didn’t mind and you and your parabatai happily followed the rhythm of the music, not caring about anything else. However you needed some air and decided to exit at the back of the club for a few minutes.

You took a deep breath and let it out. It was a bit chilly outside, but you didn’t mind. It helped you clear your mind. The music was blasting from inside so you decided to close the door behind you. The walls were soundproofed and as soon as the door closed, you couldn’t hear the music anymore. You laid forward on the rail of the staircase, relaxing. However it didn’t take long, before you realised something wasn’t right. You barely heard it, but it sounded like someone was moaning. At first you chuckled at the thought of some passionate couple making out in the alley, but soon you had to second guess your thoughts. It sounded more like someone was moaning weakly, painfully.

You walked down the stairs and followed the quite sounds. You looked into every alley that came into your view but you haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary. That is until you reached the end of the street. You saw a figure hovering above another. The person laying on the ground seemed to be half unconscious from the way his limbs spread out on the concrete.

“Hey!” You shouted. The figure above the man snapped his head towards you. You didn’t have to think twice before pulling your daggers out of your jacket seeing blood dripping of his fangs. He started towards you without hesitation. You didn’t waste time either and decided to take control. You started running and threw your dagger towards him, slashing his throat before he could even get near you. His body fell on the ground lifeless. You thought it was over, but you couldn’t have been any more wrong.

Another man appeared in the opening of the alley where you entered. The moon’s bright light shined back from his fangs and at that time you knew. You accidentally got involved in a situation, which you shouldn’t have. Many shadowhunters have tried to end their attacks, but none has been successful so far.

“Shit!” You ran towards the man standing at the end of the alley, but as soon as you got close enough, he disappeared. “Shit!” You muttered again. You took out your stele and activated your speed rune. You felt yourself powering up. It was as if a whole new person has become of you. You looked around to search for the vampire, but he didn’t show. You walked slowly and cautiously before you spotted him sitting on one of the staircases looking down at you.

“You smell good.” He said chuckling. You wanted to throw up. You liked most of the Downworlders, you never judged them for who day were. You thought it was hypocritical. But the rouge ones always pissed you off. They brought bad name for the rest of their members.

“Smell as much as you want, you will never fucking get any of it.” You spat in disgust, but his grin grew bigger.

“I guess, we will see about that.” He replied licking his fangs. You grimaced at his reaction and started towards him. This time, he couldn’t disappear that quickly as your rune was helping you to catch up. You caught him off guard for a second and slashed his arm, but he just changed position quickly. Even with your rune, you still felt slow compared to his speed. “You are fun.” He said appearing behind you. Before you could have even reacted, he got hold of your arms, making you drop the daggers. He held you with both his arms around your body. You wanted to hit him, spit on him, stab him, but you were unable to do any of them. He slowly leaned over your neck and licked it. “God, you smell so good.” He whispered and you felt your stomach turn upside down.

“Die, you asshole.” You screamed at him.

“Happily, if you stay in my arms.” He cooed, but it was making you more and more uncomfortable. You heard silent steps coming closer and closer and you started struggling to get out of the vampire’s hold. “I guess we have got company, my dear.” He licked your ear.

“Y/N!” You saw your parabatai appear in the back of the alley. “What the hell?” She realised the situation. She was about to start an attack, but…

“If you don’t want your little friend’s throat to be ripped out, you will stay put.” He hissed in anger. Izzy didn’t have a chance, but to stop before even starting. “I think, this will be the ending of our pleasant evening, but dear Y/N, we will definitely meet again.” He kissed the nape of your neck, before disappearing. Izzy immediately ran to you while you were still looking behind yourself, searching for the vampire.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your parabatai asked worriedly.

“I will find him. I will find him and kill him myself.” You whispered dangerously. You walked up to the body laying on the ground, to check for pulse or any sign of life, but he was dead. You looked up at your parabatai and shook your head.

“Let’s go home.” She said after checking out if you have suffered any injuries.

“Hell no!” You replied. “I need some drinks.” Izzy was confused at first, but she understood you.

“Fine.” She sighed. “Let’s get something for your thirst.” She chuckled, trying to lighten your mood.

“Do not ever use that word around me.” You pushed her jokingly while walking back to the Pandemonium.


	18. L&L - Chapter 18. Drunken braveness [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were as drunk as never before. You could just walk straight enough, but you were singing, dancing, shouting on the street like a teenage girl. You were holding Izzy on your shoulder as she was close to passing out.

Clary and Jace have left the party way before you, leaving you two to enjoy the night without a parental word from any of them. In result, you both got wasted. However you didn’t mind. After your little incident with that disgusting creature, you actually had an amazing night.

You stepped into the Institute, pulling your parabatai’s body after yourself. You headed straight to her room and placed her in a sitting position next to door, while trying to find her room key in her bag.

“Damn it.” You cursed as you couldn’t seem to be able to locate her key.

“Is everything okay?” Your heard the voice you least expected. You turned around and found yourself in front of the eldest Lightwood sibling.

“Peachy.” You said chuckling at your own words. God, you just realised how drunk you actually got.

“Peachy?” He asked back in confusion. You knew, that he knew, that you would never talk like that in a sober state. He took the bag from you and searched for Izzy’s key. He found it immediately. You cursed yourself for being so useless in such crucial moment. He lifted up his sister from the floor and laid her down on her bed. He placed her bag on her nightstand along with her key right after taking off Izzy’s shoes and placing them next to the bed. He went inside the bathroom, poured some water for the morning and placed it next to the bag and key. As he walked out and closed the door behind himself, he stopped in front of you.

“Don’t you think, you have overdone yourselves today?” He asked and you just rolled your eyes in response. “Very mature.” He stated and you just smiled at him sweetly.

“You are cute when you are angry.” You chuckled.

“If I recall well, you promised to stop with these remarks.” He reminded you. You started pouting, but soon your smile returned as you followed Alec to his office. It was 3am and he was still working, but you didn’t mind. It meant you could have watched him longer.

He sat down on his chair and pulled himself closer to his table. He took out a file on top of hundreds of other files and started reading them. You didn’t waste time and decided to use this time to get back some of the times you have missed when avoiding him. You couldn’t even remember why you were avoiding him. You missed his sarcastic remarks, his eye-rollings, his annoyed expressions, his rude responses. You decided to sit down in one of the chairs on the side of his table. He looked up at you for a second, but didn’t say anything. He immediately went back to his files. However after a couple of minutes of you starring at him and him trying to avoid feeling uncomfortable, he put his files down and looked straight into your eyes.

“Can I help you?” He asked feeling a bit annoyed. You just chuckled at his reaction.

“By the Angel, you look so handsome.” You blurted out. His eyebrows ran high even though he tried to hide his surprise at your honesty.

“Y/N, we have talked about it.” He had a warning tone to his voice.

“I don’t understand.” You shook your head in response. “Why can’t I just say what I think?” You questioned him.

“Because you are making me uncomfortable.” His reply was firm, but there was something else in his voice, which you couldn’t understand. Seemed like hesitation.

“But I like you. Whys is it a problem?” You asked bluntly. He hid his face in his hands, frustration clearly showing in his body language. But you were too drunk to care.

“It’s not a problem. I am flattered.” He replied weakly. “But I can not return your feelings and it makes it so much more uncomfortable.

"If it’s flattering, than why can’t you like me? What’s wrong with me?” You asked desperately.

“Nothing! By the Angel, Y/N, nothing!” He replied immediately. He shook his head trying to organise his thoughts.

“But there is something that makes it impossible for you to like me.” You smiled painfully. “Is it because I am too loud? Is it because I am not as serious? Is it maybe because I am not as attractive?” Your insecurity was clearly showing, but you didn’t care. You were talking to Alec and you trusted him.

“It has nothing to do with any of them.” He sighed. “You are extremely beautiful just the way you are. You are smart, smarter than you think. You are strong, which makes people unable to take their eyes off of you when you fight. Your humour and sarcasm are just perfectly matching your lively character. There is not a thing that’s wrong with you.” You were so confused. The way he talked about you was almost adoring. You didn’t understand if he thinks of you so highly, how could he not like you.

“Then please tell me. What is it?” Your voice was almost begging. You walked up to him and squatted down next to his chair, looking up into his dark eyes.

“Y/N, you have to understand. I have to concentrate on the Institute and the missions. I do not have the time and energy to put into a relationship.”

“So do you plan to live your life alone and lonely? The Institute, the Clave, the missions will not hug you at night, they will not worry about you when you get injured.” You tried to convince him.

“I know, Y/N.” His soft voice mentioning your name, made you melt inside.

“Then give it a try.” You told him. You could clearly see he was debating. “You don’t have to tell me that you like me. You don’t have to force yourself to love me. You don’t have to force yourself to do anything. But give me a chance to show you that it is good to be loved.” You explained and you clearly saw on his face that he was thinking hard what to say.

“If…” He started and your eyes widened in surprise. “If… I go along with it, and we try whatever is there between us,” Once again your hopes jumped high at his use of words. “it can not interfere with the missions, nor the job I am doing in the Institute or for the Clave. Understood?” You wanted to say something, you wanted to react. But you froze. “Do you understand?” He tried again.

“Wait, does that mean, you are giving us a chance?” You asked in disbelief. “As in to date?” You tried to clarify the situation.

“Only if you agree to the conditions.” He stated calmly.

“Hell yeah.” You jumped up happily. “By the Angel, Alec, I don’t think you understand how happy I am.” You laughed excitedly.

“I think I do.” He smiled at your cheerful reaction. You didn’t want to ruin things and before you could have done or said anything you regretted, you started walking backwards.

“Let me leave, before you change your mind or I wake up from this dream.” You chuckled in content. “Good night, Alec.” You waved at him and ran to your room.

You were way too happy to think about anything else. You were just sitting in your room smiling. You looked like a completely insane person, but you couldn’t care less. Alec agreed to date you and you were feeling like the happiest person alive.


	19. L&L - Chapter 19. Happy day [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You woke up refreshed and happy. You didn’t feel the alcohol from the night before, you didn’t feel tired from dancing all night and fighting with vampires. You didn’t feel anything but happiness and joy.

You jumped out of bed, took a shower, washed your hair, brushed your teeth, dried your hair. Just the usual morning routine. But this time, it was all with a huge smile spreading across your face as you were thinking about Alec.

You walked out of your room and decided to go to Izzy. You weren’t sure if you wanted to tell her as you have not met Alec yet, but you knew that you needed your parabatai next to you.

“Wake up sleeping beauty.” You rushed in and opened the curtains.

“What the hell, Y/N?” She asked pulling the duvet over her head.

“We have a beautiful day. Get your ass out of your bed.” You told her and pulled the cover off her body. She groaned loudly, but you just couldn’t care less. “We have a meeting in 30 minutes. I recommend you getting ready.” You chirped.

“Why are you so happy, instead of feeling shit like me?” She questioned while crawling out of her bed.

“Why waste time on feeling bad, when life is full of happiness?” You replied, getting a medicine out of Izzy’s bag and placing it next to her water. Thinking about Alec putting the glass on Izzy’s nightstand to help her the next morning, made you chuckle.

“You disgust me.” She groaned while walking into the bathroom.

It took her about 20 minutes to get ready, but finally she ended up looking like a person again. You always thought she was beautiful, but when she was hangover, there was more of a hidden beauty to her.

When you arrived to the hall surrounded by screens and computers of the newest technology, you immediately spotted Alec at one of the tables with Jace and Clary on his right side. You and Izzy walked towards them and before you arrived, Alec looked up at you. A huge grin appeared on your face looking at him and even though he tried to hide it, you could just see the corner of his lips moving upwards.

“What is going on?” Izzy whispered suspiciously.

“Nothing.” You replied and took your place next to Alec. You weren’t sure if he wanted to keep it a secret or not, but you decided it would be better until you could discuss it.

“Aha…” Your parabatai said not believing you.

Alec was explaining about your mission which was in exactly 5 hours. You weren’t spread into teams as it was discussed originally, since the previous teams had the same tactics and they have failed. Alec has tried to avoid every scenario which happened to the previous Shadowhunters to protect every one of you.

“We have to avoid close contact. Make sure, they don’t get too close to you. Some of the previous teams have gotten life-threatening injuries, by being crushed, and drained of their blood. Is that clear?” Alec waited for a reply.

“Yes, Y/N. Is that clear?” Your parabatai turned to you, but you didn’t understand her reference.

“Excuse me?” You asked back.

“Erm.. let me remind you of your little encounter with that vampire, yesterday.” Izzy decided to bring that situation up in the worst time, you thought.

“Nothing happened.” You tried to ease the tension.

“What are you talking about?” Alec joined the conversation and you were cursing his sister.

“Y/N was attacked yesterday when she went out to have some fresh air.” Izzy explained. “And it was only luck that she was not crushed to death as the vampire was all over her body.” Izzy continued.

“What?” Alec asked in surprise.

“Now wait a second.” You interrupted. “That is not exactly how it went down. I could have gotten out of it.” You explained, but Izzy just rolled her eyes. “Nothing happened. I am all fine, no injuries. We went back to party after that.” You explained, but Alec was still looking at you suspiciously. After a couple of minutes however he decided to focus on the mission and continued his monologue. The meeting wasn’t longer than 30 minutes, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t want to talk about such lethargic things in that moment.

As the meeting finished, Alec decided to leave for his office and you decided to follow him in a safe distance, trying to look like you headed the same way.

“You know you can walk next to me, right?” He chuckled at your weirdness.

“Yeah, but we don’t want people to know. I am assuming.” You replied awkwardly.

“We are in the same team. You are my sister’s parabatai. Hanging out will not make anyone suspicious.” He explained. “However that huge grin on your face earlier was way too easy to read.” He chuckled.

“Oh… sorry.” You apologised, but in reality you didn’t mind. You were indeed way too happy. “I couldn’t hold back.” You replied.

“I saw that.” He smirked thinking back at it while entering his office.

“So…” You started awkwardly, still standing in the door way. “I guess I will be going, I just wanted to see you.” You said scratching the back of your head looking anywhere but Alec. “Bye.” You turned around to leave, but he stopped you.

“Wait, come in.” He said while taking his seat. You stack your head in the door way giving him some time to change his mind. “Come on.” He said again, but this time, you rushed in and closed the door before he had the chance to even think twice. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah?” You asked eagerly waiting.

“What was that vampire story about?” He asked, but you just rolled your eyes. Izzy and her big mouth.

“Nothing. I was just on the wrong place, in the wrong time. But luckily nothing happened.” You explained quickly.

“Are you sure you are okay?” He asked, worry clearly showing in his voice.

“I am more than okay.” You replied with a cheerful smile spreading across your face. You walked behind Alec and hugged his manly frame. He was surprised at first, but soon enough you felt his body relax. “Thank you.” You said simply.

“For what?” He asked while turning around in his chair.

“For giving me a chance.” You looked down, straight into his eyes. “It means a lot to me.” You nodded agreeing to your own words.


	20. L&L - Chapter 20. The mission [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

It was already 8pm, the sun has just gone down. You were outside armed and all ready to hunt some vampires. Alec has asked Magnus to create a portal which you have used to arrive to the city centre. You have not seen or heard anything suspicious, but you had to be very careful. All of you were looking around searching for some clues, something out of the ordinary. It didn’t take long to find a dead mundane behind one of the bins. His skin turned grey, while a bit of blood was still dripping from his neck. He wasn’t just drained, but it seemed his neck has been snapped.

You continued to go forward where you have found another body. Jace went to check for pulse, but soon enough he shook his head. The other mundane was dead too. You barely walked a few meter since you have arrived, but you have already found 2 dead bodies. Alec pointed towards another small street, indicating to follow him. Clary and Izzy were occupying both of his sides, while Jace followed close behind. You stayed back a bit and kept looking backwards. You felt something strange, but you couldn’t explain it.

You followed behind as Alec decided to take another turn. You looked around for any suspicious activity, but you’ve seen or heard nothing. As the others turned, but you were still on the other street, you heard a silent thumping sound. You were about to turn around, but you were too slow. You felt arms wrapping themselves around your body, making you unable to move.

“I told you we would meet again.” You heard the familiar voice whispering in your ear. “I was already missing your scent.” He licked your ear.

“You are disgusting!” You growled and tried to get out of his hold. You were struggling. You were kicking, shaking, rolling around in his arms, but he didn’t budge.

“You are a feisty one.” He stated while a smug grin appeared on his face. “I like it.” He chuckled joyfully.

“You disgust me!” You hissed in anger. “Let me go.” You demanded, but he didn’t listen.

“Now, now, that wouldn’t be fun, dear.” He laughed. “This is way more interesting, don’t you think?” He placed his fangs over your neck and started moving them up and down on it as if he tried to tease you. But you didn’t find it pleasing at all.

“I will throw up.” You spat in anger and tried to move unsuccessfully.

“It can’t be that bad. I am such a pleasant vampire. Let me show you.” Your eyes widened. You knew what he meant. He sank his fangs into your neck painfully. You have heard from many people how ecstatic the feeling was, but you didn’t feel it. You screamed in pain as his fangs dug deeper in your vein.

“Y/N.” Alec appeared from the end of the street, but you started losing consciousness. He was sucking your blood in such a fast pace, you couldn’t catch up to realise that you were losing too much blood. You saw Alec pulling his arrow out and ready to shoot.

“Stop!” The vampire said from behind you. “You can try to shoot me, but it will only take a second for me to rip her vein out.” He stated calmly. You could see Alec debating, although your vision kept failing you. He was frustrated for being unable to make a decision and being out of control. But he slowly started lowering his arrow. “Good boy.” He chuckled.

“Let her go.” Alec hissed in anger.

“Now why would I do that? She smells so good.” He sniffed into your hair. “And tastes even better.” He licked the two holes on your neck.

“Leave her alone.” Alec shouted on the edge of losing control.

“Let’s say I will let her go, what do I get in exchange?” He pulled you closer.

“5 more seconds before I kill you.” Alec growled in anger.

“You are not good at negotiation.” He stated while shaking his head. You were trying to stand, but you felt your power leaving your body. The vampire’s arms were the only stability you had in that moment. “I think you should make a very quick decision. She doesn’t seem to be in the best shape.” He chuckled.

“Let her go.” Alec shouted at the vampire, but he just chuckled at his anger.

“Fine, on one condition.” He said. “You will let me go.”

“In no way that would happen.” Alec replied raising his bow again.

“Are you sure?” He asked, while pulling your body in a standing position. “Tick… tock…” He laughed. “Time is not on her side.”

“Go!” Alec shouted. “You have 5 seconds to let her go and leave before I rip your head off.” Alec warned him and he didn’t have to say it twice. He let go of your body and disappeared while you fell on the ground. “Y/N.” He ran to you. You could barely see his face and you were completely unable to react. “We have to take her back.” You felt lifted up while your head met his hard chest muscle.

“Do you want us to go after him?” Jace asked, but he already knew the answer.

“Not now. Let’s go back.” He said and after Clary called Magnus to ask for a portal, you went straight to his house. You were almost unconscious, but you could still feel being placed onto something soft. You heard Magnus’ voice from afar, but you couldn’t understand what he was saying. You felt some weird herbal smell, but you were unable to recognise the smell. You felt like all of your senses have given up on you. You only wanted to sleep, you didn’t wish for anything else. Soon enough you started feeling your eyes getting heavier as Magnus was murmuring something in the background. It almost felt like his soothing voice was the one that pushed you towards the darkness. At first you tried to keep away, you didn’t want to enter. But it was too difficult. You gave in.


	21. L&L - Chapter 21. Problems [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You woke up to voices coming from a close distance. You couldn’t recognise who they were though. You tried to move your body, but it felt too heavy. You started opening your eyes slowly, but you had to attempt the same movement over and over again to be successful.

When you could finally look around, you saw Jace sitting in one of the armchairs with Clary on his side on the arm. Magnus was sitting in the kitchen which you had a clear view to, talking to your parabatai. You were searching for Alec, but you didn’t find him. Disappointment ran through your body at once. You wished he was next to you, but you knew that it was still you who liked him, and your feelings weren’t returned. You tried to move, but something was stopping the cover over you. You looked on the side to realise Alec was sitting on the floor next to you, his head laying on your side. He started waking up at your movements.

“Y/N.” His sleepy voice melted you inside. At first you were surprised to see him, but it quickly changed to happiness.

“Morning handsome.” You smiled gently. He didn’t return the gesture, but you could see the warmness in his eyes and that was more than enough.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked still trying to get rid of his sleepiness.

“I am brand new.” You replied caressing the left side of his cheeks. You tried to get up, but you still felt a bit wobbly.

“Be careful.” He cautioned you as he got hold of your waist, helping you steady yourself.

“Thank you.” You smiled and even you realised how lovingly you looked at him.

You walked up to your parabatai, who had surprise sitting across her face when you appeared in front of her. She quickly got up from her chair and hugged you tightly. It seemed as if she didn’t plan to let you go for a while.

“Don’t break me.” You chuckled.

“You scared us!” She scolded you.

“But I am all good now.” You let go of each other. “I am assuming it’s thanks to Magnus.” I nodded towards him.

“Don’t mention it.” He smiled. “I’m glad you are feeling better. It was a close call.” He had a warning tone to his voice.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You replied this time with less enthusiasm.

“You should rest.” Alec appeared behind you putting one of his hands across your waist. You looked up at him with a smile and placed your hand on his. When you looked back, two pair of raised eyebrows caught your eyes. You completely forgot that you didn’t tell anyone. You started feeling awkward not knowing what to say. “This… erm…” You started, but you just couldn’t make any sense.

“We know.” Your parabatai helped you out, but this time, it was your turn to be surprised. You looked up at Alec, but he just looked away. “Yep, he is the guilty party.” Izzy chuckled at his brother’s very obvious behaviour.

“But…” You were about to start, however you got cut off.

“I was too worried and it slipped.” He explained still not looking at you.

“He was freaking out about what to do, when Magnus was struggling to heal you.” Izzy chuckled. “Slipped my ass.” She pushed her brother on his shoulder. “He didn’t really have a choice, but to tell us after such a worried act.” You turned to look at him again, but this time your eyes met. You happily smiled at him blushing.

“Sweet.” You stroked his cheek.

“Let’s go.” Alec pulled you away and led you to the balcony with a slight blush sitting across his face. As much as you enjoyed his worry and attention, there was just something in the air that didn’t let you be completely happy.

“Is everything okay.” You asked, while sitting down on one of the chairs behind Alec. He was standing at the rail looking down at the city’s busy streets.

“I really want to say yes, but no.” He stated and let his head fall between his arms. You didn’t understand him.

“What is going on?” You asked standing up, but your body was still weak, so you chose the most comfortable option and hugged Alec from behind.

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I was worried.” He continued. You were happy to hear his words, but he seemed different. He seemed off somehow. “I didn’t know what to do, how to act when you were in that vampire’s arms.” You could hear his teeth clenching in anger. “I never felt so powerless.”

“And?” You tried to push him to continue.

“And that feeling… those feelings, I don’t want to experience them again.” You frowned in confusion. You didn’t understand what he was trying to say.

“What do you mean?” You asked to get some answers.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea that we agreed to… whatever is between us.” Your eyes widened in surprise. You walked next to him and looked at his face, trying to have eye-contact. You were unable to get one though.

“Why would you say that?” You asked. “I don’t understand you.” You shook you head in disbelief. You were unable to comprehend that your happiness only lasted two days.

“It distracts me. I worry and I can not keep my mind clear.” He explained, but you just chuckled sourly.

“So what you are trying to say is that you care about me too much - which don’t get me wrong, it makes me happy -, but you think, if we just left each other, you will not worry about me anymore?” You tried to put all the puzzles together and it felt incredibly painful.

“That’s not what I meant.” He finally looked at you, but this time you wished he wouldn’t. “I am just confused. I’m not sure how to handle this.” He shook his head.

“Well, to me it seems that you think you wouldn’t worry if we didn’t date each other. Which is bull, you know that. We are still friends, we are teammates, there will always be some sort of caring feeling.” You explained bluntly. “Do you not worry about Jace, Izzy, Clary? Don’t try to deny it, I know you even care for Clary. So can you please explain to me what your problem is?” You placed your palm on his cheek and tried to turn him towards you, but he refused.

“I don’t know. I don’t even want to think about it now. Please just forget it.” He frowned as a deep sigh left his lungs. “I just don’t want my judgement to be affected.” He explained. You just scoffed at his reply, but you didn’t plan to continue the conversation. It was useless to do so.

“Let’s go back to the institute.” You said simply and walked back to the living room.


	22. L&L - Chapter 22. Distance [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were sitting in your room, thinking back at what Alec said to you about him being powerless when you got attacked. You were angry at him for thinking in such a childish way, but it wasn’t a good enough reason for you to give up on him. You decided to go and search for him.

First you went to his room, but after a few minutes of knocking, you realised he probably wasn’t in. Then you visited his office, but it was completely empty. You walked to the cafeteria hoping to find him there, munching on his dinner, but once again he wasn’t found. As a last option you started towards the hall. Luckily you found him at one of the computers, searching for some files on the server.

“Hey.” You greeted him and he nodded in reply, not even looking at you. “Are you busy now?” You asked. He repeated the same movement without a word. “Do you think maybe you have time a bit later?” You tried again. This time he decided to look at you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I am very busy today. Maybe another time.” He replied and turned back to the screen. You stood there for a couple of seconds looking at Alec’s profile, then decided to head to the cafeteria to eat something and visit your parabatai.

*

Two days later you tried your luck again. You started searching for the eldest Lightwood sibling and soon enough you found him in his office going through some files with a serious expression sitting across his face. You were thinking about walking away and not interrupting him, but then you wanted to see him, so you decided otherwise.

“Hey.” You waved at him from the doorway. He just nodded in response without looking up from his paperwork. “I was thinking maybe you had time today to do something?” You smiled, hoping for the best. But he didn’t react. “Ahoy.” You said acting as a pirate to get his attention. You laughed at your attempt.

“Sorry, what did you say?” He looked up at you in daze. You could see that he was very much focused on whatever he was doing.

“I just asked if you maybe had time today to do something together.” You repeated yourself. Although by the look on his face, you already knew the answer.

“Look, I wish I could, but I really am busy right now. Let’s find another time.” He said and turned back towards his paperwork.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” You replied casually, but inside you were hurting. You wanted to spend some time with him, but he didn’t seem to feel the same way. You promised him not to interfere with his work and so you tried to keep your words, but it was more difficult, than you imagined. You needed Izzy to avert your thoughts from Alec, so you headed towards her room.

*

The following day you walked to Alec’s room early on the morning hoping to catch him without any of his works. You knocked on the door a couple of times before you could hear his tired voice letting you in.

“Morning.” You smiled at him, but to your surprise he was sitting at his table going through some files, once again. “You work a lot.” You stated simply. He looked up at you finally acknowledging your presence.

“I know. I am so tired.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose as an act to wake himself up.

“Then let’s do something away from your paperwork.” You suggested, but he just shook his head.

“Believe me, I wish I had time, but I have to finish these.” He replied tiredly.

“I know Alec, but you don’t have to kill yourself working.” You reminded him that he needed to have a life, not just going through a bunch of paperwork. “Let me help you and then we can go out to relax.” You offered, but once again he just shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. We will do it next time.” However you didn’t accept his answer. You walked up to him and took a couple of papers laying on top of another pile of files. You were about to sit down to help him, when he grabbed your hand. You were surprised as it wasn’t just a gentle move to stop you, he was holding on to you almost painfully. You looked in his eyes and you could only see anger and frustration in them. “Put them down.” He growled and forced your hand to open up, dropping the papers on top of where it came from.

“I just wanted to help.” You frowned at his behaviour.

“And I said no.” His tone was scary and you decided to just leave. You stood in the door for a couple of seconds looking at Alec’s serious expression, but you soon realised that he needed space. Space that he already had unfortunately. You didn’t know how to act and what to do around Alec anymore. You started to search for Izzy to ask her to practice. You needed to get rid of your frustration.

*

You have given Alec three days to get all his shit together, so this time you left your room with an unknown determination. You wanted to force the eldest Lightwood brother to put those files away to the farthest corner of his room and let loose a bit.

“Morning.” You opened the door to his office without knocking. You didn’t even wait for a reply or a greeting. You walked up to him hoovering over some papers. You put your hands on top of the files before he could even move them and you waited for him to look up to you.

“What are you doing?” He asked frowning at your strange behaviour. “I am trying to work here.” He hissed in anger.

“And I am fed up!” You replied in the same tone. “You told me you would give me a chance and the Angels know how happy that made me. But since we came back from the mission, it’s not that you don’t give me a chance, you don’t even talk to me.” You ranted. “I do not know what has changed and to be honest I don’t even care anymore. I have been trying to get you out of here, initiating dates with you, but I am being continuously pushed away. I am not a toy that you take out whenever you want to play with it.” Your anger grew as all your thoughts which you wanted to tell to Alec has started to come together.

“I think, correct me if I am wrong, I told you that I’d only give this a chance if it didn’t interfere with my work.” He explained this time in a calm manner.

“I remember well, but you work 24/7.” You tried to argue your point.

“And you knew that before too, but you still agreed.” He replied casually. His tone of voice and careless attitude annoyed you.

“Yes, but I thought you would make some time at least. Or how did you imagine it? That we would go for a date in every leap-year?” In your desperation you could only turn to your sarcasm.

“I am sorry if the circumstances are not pleasant for you, but that is how it is.” The way he talked to you was so formal, you didn’t even recognise him as someone you were supposed to be dating. You sighed and hid your face in your hands. It was too painful. You finally got a chance but before you could have enjoyed it, it got taken away.

“Fine.” You looked into Alec’s deep dark eyes. You knew that your eyes showed pain, but you also knew that he would have never recognised it. You turned around and without a second thought you left. That was it for the two of you.


	23. L&L - Chapter 23. Giving up [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

After your encounter with Alec, you decided to search for your parabatai. You knocked on her bedroom door and soon enough it opened. You walked in and sat down on the side of her bed.

“Y/N? Is everything okay?” She asked frowning, but you just nodded in response. “Don’t get me wrong, I love that you visit me every day, but shouldn’t you be with my brother?” She asked suspiciously. You chuckled painfully. 

“No, I should not. We are not dating.” You replied, but didn’t continue.

“What do you mean?” She tried to get you to talk.

“I think I screwed it up.” You said simply. No emotions showed in your voice this time.

“What did you do?” Curiosity was clearly showing in her voice. 

“You see, I don’t know.” Your parabatai frowned at your reaction.

“So how can you screw up something, if you don’t even know about it?” She questioned in confusion.

“I have been trying to get him to go out with me. To go on dates or just to hang out together. But every single day I was pushed away. I don’t even know what to do anymore.” You kept looking at the ground, tying to collect you thoughts, but they were scattered all over you head.

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Izzy asked you while taking a seat next to you. You shook your head indicating you didn’t want that to happen.

“It’s fine.” You raised your head and looked at your parabatai. “I think this time I will have to give up.” You stated and Izzy’s eyes widened in surprise.

“But you like him so much.” She tried to convince you to change your mind.

“Exactly, Iz.” You nodded. “I do.” You stopped for a few seconds. “But he doesn’t.” You shook your head. “I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.” You tried to convince yourself.

“I am so sorry, Y/N.” She pulled you close and hugged you. You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted to hit something. But you couldn’t move from the pain. You have tried to give up so many times, you have tried to avoid him so many times. But it was always because he asked you to. But this time it was your own decision and it was even harder.

“It’s cool.” You smiled painfully. “It will get better.” You tried to convince yourself. Izzy let go of hugging you and you took the opportunity to stand up.

“We will have a meeting soon. Apparently we are going for a second mission.” You changed the subject. “Be in the meeting room at 5pm.” You instructed your parabatai and left the room without a second glance.

You were walking around the institute like a ghost of yourself. You wanted to cry, you wanted to shout, but it all just bottled up inside you. You walked to the cafeteria to eat something, but when you arrived you changed your mind. You walked to the hall to get some information of the previous Shadowhunters’ mission with the vampires, but once again, you just couldn’t care less. You needed to release.

You decided to go and practice. You went to your room and changed to your training cloths. As soon as you arrived to the training room, you quickly warmed up and started hitting the punching bag which was hanging off the ceiling but was also fixed to the ground. You felt so aggressive, you couldn’t stop yourself from punching harder and harder. You imagined Alec’s face and the usual happy feeling you had towards him turned into hatred at that moment. Your anger was overwhelming, you were getting tired, but you didn’t want to stop. You took out your stele and activated your strength and speed rune. You wanted to hit the punching bag faster and stronger. Finally, you didn’t even realise, that you were hitting it so aggressively, that the bag ripped apart and all of its content fell on the floor, grains spreading around you.

“That’s a first.” You heard a voice behind you and span around immediately.

“Jace.” You called his name.

“I guess all of this mess is thanks to Alec?” You nodded as a reply. “So I’ve heard.” He grimaced. “I’m sorry. I really don’t understand what is going on with him, and I am his parabatai. I can’t imagine how confusing it can be for you.” He tried to comfort you.

“I don’t want to talk about this.” You said, as you walked to another punching bag starting to beat it up with the same force as the previous one. Jace walked up to you and held onto the punching bag, giving you more access.

“He just doesn’t want to feel right now, I guess.” He continued, completely ignoring your request. “I think he is afraid, if he gives in to the feelings, it would affect his decisions.” He explained.

“Did I not tell you, that I didn’t want to talk about it?” You asked hitting the bag even harder, making Jace step back a couple of times.

“I am sorry that he is an idiot, but give it time.” He asked and you lost it.

“Shut up!” You shouted in anger. “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to hear it, I don’t give a fuck!” You screamed. “I don’t care what he thinks, what he feels, what he does.” Silent tears were rolling down your cheeks. “I don’t want people in my life who are unable to make a decision and say something, but act otherwise. I don’t care about Alexander Gideon Lightwood anymore.” You felt arms around you as your tears blinded you. Jace embraced you gently, comforting your shaking shoulders, but you didn’t seem to want to calm down. You were crying hysterically, gasping for air.

“It’s okay.” He caressed your hair soothingly. “It will be better soon, just let it all out.” He comforted you and soon you started to calm down indeed.

“I’m sorry.” You apologised for your behaviour.

“It’s fine. It was building up inside you. You needed to release.” He smiled gently. “I know it’s hard, but eventually you will feel better.” You felt lucky for having such supporting friends who didn’t judge you even in your worst state.

“Thank you.” You hugged back. “I do feel better already.” You sighed as you let go of him. Jace just smiled at you and decided to leave you to continue training. You didn’t understand how, but he understood what you needed. And that was a bit of alone time. It’s not like you haven’t had enough of that in the last couple of days, but this was different. You continued on the treadmill this time, getting lost in your playlist on your phone.


	24. L&L - Chapter 24. Resistance [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were running on the treadmill for about an hour, but your lungs didn’t seem to mind. You activated your stamina rune a while ago to be able to train more, but you did feel it wearing off slowly. You decided to do something else. You walked to the bench where you left your training equipments, along with your towel. You wiped off the sweat from your body and grabbed your bottle of water to rehydrate yourself. You took your phone out of it’s holder on your arm which you have used to listen to music while exercising and that’s when you realised you were late. You knew that Alec would be angry as he always was when someone was being inaccurate. You threw all your items into your bag and started running towards the hall.

When you arrived an angry looking Alec was waiting for you along with 4 pair of curious eyes.

“Sorry, time flew by.” You said and instead of standing next to Alec as usual, you decided to stand at the other end of the table.

“Next time get here on time.” Alec said with a serious tone. However you were way too angry at him and you couldn’t care less about his problem.

“Look at this face.” You pointed at your face casually. His facial expression changed to a curious one. “It’s says I don’t give a damn.” You spat in anger.

“Excuse me?” He asked in surprise at your rude behaviour.

“You are excused.” You replied, completely ignoring your friends’ worried eyes.

“If you continue this behaviour, I will not allow you on missions.” His voice clearly showed unwanted frustration.

“Oh, now we are blackmailing, are we?” You questioned his use of power. “Well guess what?! If you don’t let me go, I will just start a one person mission.” You replied shrugging your shoulder.

“I recommend you to think before talking.” He hissed in anger.

“I recommend you to stop nagging me and talk about the mission, or else we can stand here all night long.” You grimaced.

“Enough!” He said. “Leave!” He pointed towards the corridors.

“Are you sure?” You asked, because you knew if he didn’t let you go, you would indeed go on a one person mission. “Think twice.” You advised. He sighed deeply before he talked again.

“Out! Now!” He said firmly, not even looking at you.

“Very well.” You replied, while picking up your trining bag from the floor. “Just don’t forget what I said.” His eyes immediately snapped up, looking straight into yours.

“Don’t dare to go on a mission alone.” He warned you, but you just shrugged your shoulders and grinned.

“Do I look like someone who will listen to anything you say?” You chuckled with a devilish tone to your voice. “You will have to kick me out, then.” You could feel your friends tensing up next to you.

“What are you talking about?” He was frowning deeply.

“I will not listen to someone who is unable to make a decision.” You answered without a single care in your voice. Alec walked over to where you were standing, got hold of your arm and started pulling you away to one of the empty rooms.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” He asked, letting go of your arm and pushing you to the doorframe.

“First of all, don’t touch me.” You said with a warning tone. “Secondly, don’t ever dare to drag me around.” You continued in a calm manner. “Thirdly, you have known me for a long time. You know how I can be when I don’t want to do something. We were in a good relationship because I liked you, so I went along with everything you asked of me. But you always knew that I liked to go against decisions I didn’t agree with. Well guess what?! Now you will see how resistant I can be when I actually don’t like someone.” You whispered hissing through your teeth.

“Are you doing this because of what happened? Can’t you be more professional?” He growled stepping closer to you. However you had no way to move as your back was against the doorframe.

“Erm… nah.” You knew you were childish, but you didn’t care.

“So you would risk your life, just so you can go against my decision?” He gasped in surprise.

“You see, I wouldn’t have to go against your decision if you didn’t single me out. I was only 15 minutes late, because I was training and forgot about the time. But no, you had to have a go at me for it.” You crossed your arms in front of your chest like a sulking child.

“I would have done the same to everyone.” He replied in disbelief.

“Well, not everyone is mentally unstable now, so I guess, it’s still your fault.” You replied shrugging. He started massaging the back of his neck to release some tension.

“Can we just go back and act like nothing happened? No remarks, no comments, just discussing the mission. Can you do that?” He asked trying to act calm.

“I certainly can.” You replied simply.

You walked back to the hall and took your place once again. You put your bag down on the floor and started listening to Alec talking about your second attempt to kill those vampires who have been causing issues around the city. It took you a great deal of energy to stop yourself from barking at him for everything you didn’t agree with, but before talking and making a suggestion, you just kept taking deep breaths.

You decided to get the mission over with on the following day at 8pm sharp, as soon as the sun went down. This time you were planning to attack from above, not to let them surprise you on the ground. Alec has already called Magnus and asked him for a portal for easier transportation.

As soon as the meeting finished, you took your stuff and started walking to your room. You saw your parabatai trying to talk to you, but you just didn’t have the will to do so. As soon as you reached your room, you closed the door behind you, you pressed your back to it and slid down on the floor, getting lost in your thoughts.


	25. L&L - Chapter 25. Worry [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

At 8pm sharp, you were standing outside the institute waiting for the others. You got ready earlier as you didn’t want to fuel the already existing tension between you and Alec. You’ve been waiting for about 5 minutes when all of your friends walked out the door together. Alec lead the team towards the portal, Magnus created once again and all of you stepped in one by one to arrive to a dark and hidden part of Brooklyn.

This time you arrived with more information as one of the Shadowhunters woke up from his coma and informed Alec of the vampires hiding place. You weren’t really sure this was the right place though. It’s not that you didn’t believe the Shadowhunter, but even though it was a quite hidden area of Brooklyn, it still seemed way too exposed. 

Even though Alec’s tactic was to stay together, he changed his mind after all, but he didn’t explain his decision. He sent you and Izzy together to check up on some of the alleys he has pointed towards, while he continued on the same path along with Jace and Clary. In a normal situation he would have joined you, but you kind of understood why he decided differently. You were not a good team together. Or at least that is what he thought. For you it didn’t matter if you hated or loved someone, when on mission, you were always clear-headed and focused, completely putting your problems aside. But then again, it was Alec’s decision and you didn’t want to fight about it.

Izzy and you were jumping on top of the buildings to avoid a surprise attack. But you didn’t see anything suspicious. You went through the streets, looked at the back alleys, even went further than your designated area, but there was nothing out of ordinary. Not a single thing.

Not long after you have finished looking around, you started walking back to where you came from, when Izzy got hold of your arm and stopped you, while putting her hand on your mouth to keep you quite.

You carefully listened to the sounds around you, when you faintly heard the sound of metal objects colliding. It reminded you of blades for some reason, but it wasn’t loud enough for you to be completely sure. 

You and your parabatai quickly headed towards the street you came from, when your friends’ figures started to appear in your view. You could clearly see that they were fighting. Izzy started running immediately to help them out, but you stopped. It seemed too easy. The first thing in your mind was that something just did not seem right. You looked up on the buildings to find something or someone. But your senses left you helpless once again. Your friends were keeping up quite well against the vampires. Many of them were already dead. But you still couldn’t shake that negative feeling radiating through your bones.

As you got closer your eyes met the vampire Alec was fighting with. You couldn’t have forgotten his face. Shivers ran through your body from disgust, but you tried to shake it off.

“Y/N.” You saw his lips moving. A huge grin appeared on his face, seeing you. He tried to get to you, but Alec stopped him and occupied him. You saw them exchanging words, but you couldn’t understand, you couldn’t read off their lips what they were saying. The vampire was strong, too strong. You could see Alec struggling to keep up with his speed, even with his runes activated. As his focus was completely on the vampire he was fighting with, he didn’t realise the other one trying to attack him from behind. You ran as fast as you could and just got there in time. You took out your seraph blade and pierced it through his heart, then cut his head off. Alec’s head snapped back for a second and your eyes met. However you couldn’t focus on him for too long as you realised that the other vampire was about to stab Alec. You jumped in and pushed him on the ground while the vampire vanished into thin air. But something wasn’t right. You looked down and saw that he was bleeding on his side while the blade was proudly standing still in his flash.

“Alec!” You shook him, but he didn’t answer. His face showed pain and you suddenly didn’t know what to do. Your head snapped back looking up at a vampire who was about to attack, but before you could have done anything, Jace attacked him instead. You looked down at Alec and picked him up from the ground. He was half unconscious and his weight seemed to slow you down even with your strength rune doing its job. “Jace, Alec needs help.” You shouted.

“Just go, we will take care of this.” He replied.

“I can’t leave you here.” You screamed in despair.

“Go!” He shouted while avoiding an attack from a vampire.

You stood there for a couple of seconds, thinking, but then you decided Jace was right. Alec needed urgent care now, not minutes later. You stepped back through the portal and arrived to the Institute. You dragged Alec’s body along the hallway and put him down on one of the beds in the infirmary. The nurse sitting on the side immediately got her equipments and started sterilising them one by one as quick as she could. She pushed a button on the bed and two Silent Brothers ran in to help her. They gently asked you to leave, while forcefully pushing you out when you resisted.

You wanted to know what was going on with Alec, you wanted to know if he was going to be okay. You wanted to stay next to him, even if you were the last person he wanted to see in that moment. But you couldn’t do a single thing. You just sat down on the floor, right next to the door.

Hours passed by, but still noone came out of the room. You were worried about Alec, but now you were anxious about your friends too. Luckily you didn’t have to torture yourself with all the what-ifs as soon enough your parabatai appeared in front of you, followed by Jace and Clary in a close distance. She wanted to go straight into the room, but it was closed. She tried pulling it, pushing it forcefully, but it didn’t budge.

“What the hell?” She swore in anger, but the door didn’t give itself up. “I want to know what is going on.” She cried.

You pulled your parabatai down next to you and embraced her shaking figure gently. She couldn’t stop crying even though you tried to comfort her. Your tears have stopped already, but your fear for Alec has grown bigger.

Your friends and you were waiting in front of Alec’s room impatiently all night long, but there was no information about his well-being. You couldn’t do anything, but sit tight and wait as if it was the easiest thing to do in such situation. 


	26. L&L - Chapter 26. Order [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The following morning, you woke up to someone gently shaking your shoulder. You looked up and saw the nurse who took care of Alec, standing above you. You looked around and saw Clary and Jace sleeping in the weirdest position you could imagine, while Izzy’s head was resting on your shoulder.

“How is he?” You asked impatiently. She gently smiled at you and you just felt your chest opening up. It felt like you have been keeping the air in for who knows how long. “Can we see him?”

“Yes, but only one by one.” She advised, not to excite him too much.

You looked towards your heavy shoulder and started waking Izzy up. It took a bit longer than you expected, but she started slowly gaining consciousness.

“Izzy, go and see Alec. They are letting us in now.” You explained, but you didn’t even finish the sentence and your parabatai has ripped open the door already. You wanted to see Alec, you wanted to see for yourself that he was okay, but you knew that you were the last person he wanted. You just sat there on the floor waiting for Izzy to come out and for Jace and Clary to take their time.

Izzy was with Alec for about 15-30 minutes. You didn’t count it or checked your watch, but it seemed about that much. When she came out, a big smile spread across her face. It made you feel at ease. As much as you wanted to see Alec, even the fact that you knew he was okay, made your feel better.

“Go see him.” Izzy said while sitting down on the floor next to you, but you shook your head.

“I will wait until Jace and Clary finishes.” You smiled gently. “Magnus arrived too, so when they are done, I will check on him.” You explained.

“Why?” She asked in confusion. “You saved his life basically. It could have been worse.”

“It’s fine Izzy.” You replied simply.

“No, it’s not.” She disagreed. “The first thing he asked me was how you were doing. He is just way too proud to say it out loud to you. And on the other hand, you are being way too generous letting everyone go before you. By the Angel, Y/N! You saved his life and you like him to bits, so get your ass in there. You have the right to see him.” You chuckled at your parabatai’s words. There was some truth to it, but you were scared. You didn’t know what you were supposed to say to him. After all, you weren’t in the best relationship.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… fine.” You replied with a grin spread across your face.

“Much better.” You heard her as you were walking up to the closed door. You stood there for a few seconds before having some courage to enter the room. You didn’t look straight at Alec. You just turned around and closed the door behind you. You were taking your time doing it as you still weren’t sure what you wanted to say.

“Hi.” Alec broke the silence and you decided to take a seat next to him, not to look too awkward.

“Hey.” You looked up at him. Even when he was injured and his face was colourless, you found him more attractive than anyone you have ever met. You mentally slapped yourself for thinking of him in such way in such situation. “How are you?”

“Compared to the circumstances, I feel quite good.” He replied weakly, but you believed him. He was always a fighter. He was the kind of person who never gave up and was still doing things when others would have passed out already.

“I’m glad.” You replied with a gentle smile.

“Thank you.” He said out of the blue. You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Don’t look at me like that.” He chuckled. “I can say ‘thank you’ and 'sorry’ too. I am very much capable of it.” This time you chuckled at his response while nodding.

“Took you 3 years, but finally I’ve heard it myself.” You laughed while picking on him.

“Excuse me, I am a patient here. It’s not nice to make fun of me.” He was acting like a sulking child.“

"I do apologise your Majesty.” You chuckled. It felt good that you could joke around with him again. Like before you even realised your feelings for him and became annoying in his eyes. “You know, I missed this.” You took the courage to change the subject. “I know I have been annoying for a while. Two years to be precise.” You laughed awkwardly. “But I missed having fun with you. I missed laughing at dumb things we say to each other. I missed teasing you about how proud you were. I missed teasing your god damn workaholic behaviour. I think I just lost sight of that. I’m sorry.”

“It was both of our fault. I wasn’t firm enough and you were too pushy. What a great couple.” He grinned at you. You missed seeing his smile around you. Not the kind that he showed to everyone. The kind that was from ear to ear, showing all 32 teeth, making the facial muscles painfully stretch.

“Yeah, I guess you are right.” You nodded returning the smile even bigger as his. “I’m going to go now. I will let Magnus in. He wanted to see how you were doing.” You were about to leave, when he grabbed your arm.

“Can I ask you a favour?” He asked, this time with a completely serious expression sitting across his face. You waited for him to continue. “Can you promise me something?” You nodded in reply. “No, I want you to promise me, before I can say it.” You frowned at his request and found it quite strange.

“I can’t promise something if I don’t know what that is.” You were unable to understand the situation.

“Please, promise me before I even say it. I am afraid you will do the exact opposite if I tell you what I want.” He said and it almost felt like he was in pain. But not the physical kind.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I have to know what I will promise.” You resisted. He shook his head and sighed deeply.

“Fine. Please promise me that you will not go on a mission against these vampires.” Your eyebrows ran up high. You were more confused than ever. “Just please promise me.” He was almost begging.

“But why?” You asked still not understanding what he meant.

“It doesn’t matter. Just please do it.” He said without an explanation.

“I can’t just promise something without understanding why. I want to know what is going on. I am not going to say no to a mission just because you told me to.” You replied. Your blood pressure was slowly getting higher. You knew this conversation wasn’t going to end well.

“Well, I guess I will take the necessary measures then.” He replied shrugging.

“What?” You frowned in complete and utter shock. “What is going on here?” You were completely losing the whole conversation. “I thought we were good and now you are 'taking necessary measures’, which sounds like I will be in trouble if I go against your request, which has since become an order of some kind in the last 5 minutes or so.” You ranted angrily.

“Let’s just say, if it depends on me, you will not be going on a mission against the vampires. Even from in here, I am the Head of the Institute and my word counts against yours.” He said firmly. Your eyes widened in shock.

“So what now? You are making me stay behind for no reason? You are making me stay put? Me?” You were dumbfounded at Alec’s behaviour. You didn’t understand a thing. You just wanted to leave. You ripped your arm out of his hand and walked to the door.

“I will not let you go on a mission.” He concluded the conversation. Or so he thought.

“And I will refuse to accept it.” You said while closing the door behind you. You heard his last words, something along the lines of 'you can’t do that’, but you didn’t care. It all started so well and he just had to ruin it all. You were fuming. You just wanted to leave and be alone to try to understand what on earth was going on with Alec.


	27. L&L - Chapter 27. Confusion [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

When you left Alec’s infirmary room, you straight headed to your own bedroom. You were angry, fuming, confused. You didn’t know what that whole scene was all about and you definitely didn’t understand Alec’s decision. You knew that on some occasions Shadowhunters were being ordered not to attend to a mission, but even when it happened, it meant they had some kind of an involvement with the enemy such as someone with a previously close tie to the Circle. You were thinking hard and deep, but you just couldn’t find the reason behind the eldest Lightwood sibling’s choice. You couldn’t remember a single thing that could have tied you to the vampire attacks or the vampire clan themselves. You were far from knowing anything about them.

As you were sitting in front of your table - looking into your mirror - trying to understand Alec, your parabatai’s dark hair appeared in the reflection as she was trying to slip into your room without your knowledge.

“You do realise I can see you in the mirror, right?” She jumped hearing your voice. She didn’t expect you to see her slyly sneaking in behind your back.

“Now I do.” She replied innocently, but you just laughed at her fake act. She sat down at the end of your bed, on the floor and waited for you to look at her. You decided to turn around and focus your attention on Izzy. “I saw you coming out of Alec’s room.” You nodded in response. “It didn’t seem like, you’ve had a pleasant conversation.” She stated and was waiting for you to enlighten her.

“You see it was actually.” You corrected her. “I have not felt so free around him for such a long time. I completely forgot how well we got along before I started having feelings for him. But once again it was like before. Just simple and fun.” You smiled while thinking back, but then as quick as it came, it disappeared. “But something changed.” Izzy frowned at your quick subject change. “He first asked me not to attend to the missions against the vampires. On top of that he didn’t even explain why, just expected me to accept it. And if that wasn’t enough, after I disagreed with him, he decided to change this apparent "favour” to an order, because he is the head of the Institute and he can do it.“ You laughed sourly. "What is wrong with him? Did he hit his head along the way?” It was only a rhetorical question, but God you started slowly thinking if it indeed happened.

“I love my brother, but sometimes I just don’t get him.” She shook her head. “However, you also know that he wouldn’t just make a decision like that, out of thin air. He might have a really good reason.” She explained, and deep under your rebelling-self, you knew she was right.

“So what am I supposed to do now? Should I really not get involved?” You asked. You needed some advice, because you were clearly incapable of making a decision in that moment.

“I mean, I think you shouldn’t.” She nodded. “As much as he can be an ass, he wouldn’t just ask you something like that for no reason.”

“But then why?” You asked frowning at your reflection in the mirror.

“I really have no idea.” She shook her head. “But I could ask him for you. He might just tell me.” As much as you hated using your parabatai, you needed to know what was going on.

“Fine.” You agreed. “Just let me know what you got from him.” You asked.

“I will do that.” A gentle smile spread across her face. “Besides, it made me curious too.” She chuckled and you joined her on it. You knew she liked to know things, even when they didn’t necessarily had anything to do with her.

“You would have surprised me, if it didn’t.” You rolled your eyes with a smile still sitting across your face. You just got a shrug from your parabatai in response.

“Where will you be patrolling tomorrow night?” She asked changing the subject.

“Not sure, I still have to check the rota.” You explained. “I was supposed to go with Jace, but last minute Clary got available too and so they were paired up. As far as I remember, I am going out alone tonight.

"Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She asked frowning. It was indeed rare that Shadowhunters went out alone, but then patrol wasn’t as dangerous as a mission itself. “I mean the vampires are still causing trouble. What if you run into them? I don’t think it’s smart to go alone.” She explained and to be honest you completely agreed with her. However Hodge, who has done the schedule, knew his job well and you would have never disputed it.

“It’s cool. It’s just patrol.” You shrugged it off.

“Yes, it is just patrol, however I know my brother, Y/N. So do you. He doesn’t just come up with random orders unless he thinks that something is wrong. And he wouldn’t have asked you not to do something, instead of straight away ordering you, if he wanted to argue with you about it. And if indeed something is wrong, you should definitely avoid being alone.” She was quite convincing and you had to accept that Alec indeed wasn’t the kind of person who used his position to order people around. However his behaviour was strange and you were a very hot-headed person, especially when you didn’t agree with someone. You sat there thinking for a little while before replying.

“Fine, I will not go on a mission when it comes to the vampires, until it’s all sorted. However you can not stop me from going on other missions and do simple patrols.” Izzy was thinking hard, but she couldn’t argue with you. Alec asked you not to accept the missions relating to the clan, but he never asked you to stop attending other missions or even patrolling the city.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea, but I can understand where you are coming from.” She agreed.

“Just don’t worry too much. You are worse than my mother.” You chuckled and she pushed your shoulder with her fist before crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Love you too.” You said while hugging her sulking frame.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She simply replied and you just squeezed her harder.


	28. L&L - Chapter 28. Practice [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

The next day you straight went to the hall as you finished your morning routine. You wanted to check on your schedule for the evening as you have forgotten to do it the day before. You walked up to one of the unoccupied computers, entered your login information and opened the main page. It showed you all the dates in a calendar-like manner. As you clicked on the current date, you saw all the Shadowhunters’ names who were supposed to be on patrol for that day. Scrolling down your name appeared at the 8pm row alone with a fellow Shadowhunter called Blake. You have felt a strange relief, that you didn’t have to go out alone. It was not like it bothered you in the first place, you have gone out not once alone. However after your conversation with Alec and Izzy, you did feel alert.

Blake wasn’t someone you got paired up with often. You were both in separate teams and except one or two occasions, you didn’t talk talk to him much, other than ‘Morning’ or 'Are you alright?’. He was a very good fighter and a smart men, who was about your age. At least that is what you knew of him while working together.

After your findings, you decided to head towards the training room. Until night patrol, you had nothing to do. You wanted to exercise a bit and prepare for the night.

When you entered the training room, you have found your parabatai already exercising.

“Morning Sunshine.” You chuckled, greeting her. She turned around and a happy smile appeared on her face too.

“Someone is in a good mood.” She said looking at you.

“Not necessarily. It’s just a normal day.” You replied, while sitting down to stretch. “Did you speak to Alec?” You turned towards her. You were leaning forward to your straightened legs to stretch your hamstring muscles.

“I did, but I got nothing from him.” She shook her head. “I tried to ask him in so many different ways, and after beating around the bush I straight up questioned him. He said he is worried about you, because apparently that vampire told him something. But then he was very sleepy and the medicines started kicking in, so he told me, he would explain later.” She said. You started thinking about what he could have been told, but you couldn’t get a single idea out of that useless little head of yours.

“Well, tonight I will be on patrol, so I guess I will miss that, but when I come back on the morning, just tell me everything he has told you.” You asked and she nodded. “By the way, you don’t have to worry about me.” You started and she looked up waiting for you to continue. “I checked the rota and I am not going out alone. Blake, the guy who came with us to the continuous demon attacks at the East River, will be my partner.” You explained.

“Good. I’m glad.” She smiled gently. “With all the things going on, I really didn’t understand why Hodge would let anyone go out alone. It’s almost like committing suicide.” She shook her head disagreeing with the decision.

“To be honest, he knows what he is doing. He wouldn’t have put me alone anyway, if he though it was dangerous in the first place.” You didn’t agree with your parabatai as you had more faith in your instructors.

“I know, I know.” She sighed. “I might just be overreacting.”

“I just told you yesterday. You are worse than my mother.” You laughed as she punched you on your shoulder.

“Get up.” She demanded after jumping up. “I will fight you.” She stood in position. You laughed at her attempt and walked to the middle of the training room.

“Come at me then.” You chuckled as she ran towards you with a wooden log. She almost hit you when you dodged the stick. “I thought you could do better than that.” You teased, while she started another attack. You dodged once more. You ran to the cupboard and quickly took out the same type of weapon your parabatai was using. This time you decided to go for it.

“I thought you would just stand there like a statue.” She laughed.

“Clearly you couldn’t even hit the statue. Shame.” You embarrassed her and you could clearly see on her face, that there was a sudden determination on it.

“Oh you little…” She started, but didn’t finish the sentence. Rather she launched forward and jumped up to attack you from above. However you slid to the right before she could have landed.

“You need to speed up a bit, my dear parabatai.” You gestured with the wooden stick in your hand. “I would expect more from you.” You teased.

“Stop talking and start fighting.” She demanded, but you just couldn’t take her seriously.

“Someone is not in a good mood.” You provoked her.

“Well, someone else will not be in one either, as soon as I kick her ass.” She replied. Feisty, you thought.

“Instead of talking, you could maybe attack. I will fall asleep here.” You grinned at her, wiggling your eyebrows.

“Aren’t you a bit too cocky?” She asked, when she started an attack against you. She went down this time to try to target your legs, and knock you off balance, but once again she failed as you jumped up. However this time you didn’t leave without a counterattack. You pulled her legs out of her squatting position and she fell on her back, legs pulled up to her stomach, looking almost like a…

“Turtle!” You laughed, pointing at her posture on the ground. She just huffed annoyed.

“You think it’s funny?” She tried to get up, but you pushed her back on the floor with the end your stick.

“Honestly? I am having a blast.” You replied with an ear to ear smile spreading across your face.

“I’m glad you enjoy this.” She sulked, her lips pouting. You offered your hand to help her up, and to your surprise, she accepted it. Unfortunately, you couldn’t hold back a bit of prank and as soon as she was about to stand up, you let her go. She fell back into the same awkward position. “Y/N!” She shouted your name angry, but you just couldn’t stop laughing. You found the situation way too funny.

“Sorry. Sorry.” You replied, still holding onto your painfully contracting stomach. “I just couldn’t miss such an opportunity.”

“Yeah, right. With you as my parabatai, I don’t even need enemies.” She stated, while standing up, this time without your help. She walked up to you and grabbed your head, pulling it under her armpit to ruffle your hair. You looked up at her looking like someone who just head a rough night.

“Was that necessary?” You asked with the same smile you have been keeping for the last couple of minutes.

“How did you say?” She started thinking. “I just couldn’t miss such an opportunity.” You laughed at her reaction as she let go of you.

“I guess I deserved that.” You chuckled and she heavily nodded in agreement.

“You did.” She punched your shoulder jokingly while collecting all of her cloths and equipments. You did the same as you followed her to the hall, to then return to your rooms.


	29. L&L - Chapter 29. Only option [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were walking to the weapons room to collect your necessary items. You already placed your stele and your primary weapons, your blades on a leather strap sitting across your thighs. However, as always, you needed a seraph blade too and you also decided to take a carved wooden stake, just in case.

As soon as you collected your items and were ready to walk out, Hodge appeared next to you and stoped you.

“Hey, Y/N.” He greeted you and you returned it in the form of a nod. “We have a bit of a problem.” He started.

“What would that be?” You asked curiously.

“Unfortunately Blake had to go out with Mary on the 3pm patrol.” He explained. “I was supposed to place Daniel with you, but I completely forgot he had to go out on a mission. Unfortunately you will have to go out alone tonight.” He finished. You were very unhappy with the situation, but you were helpless. You couldn’t have done anything, so you just replied with a silent ‘It’s fine’ and exited the Institute.

You weren’t scared, but your conversation with the Lightwood siblings made you wary. You didn’t know what to expect, but you definitely didn’t want to be out there alone. And now there you were, standing in the dark, all alone.

Remembering back at the schedule you were supposed to be at the Brooklyn Bridge, but you hated patrol there. You took out your phone and messaged Clint - who was doing your favourite part, the Centre area - if he wanted to swap. It only took a few seconds before his reply appeared on your phone’s screen 'Sure’.

As you were standing outside, you realised that you were in such a lazy mood and didn’t feel like walking. You decided to call one of your closest Downworlder friend for help. You dialled the number and was waiting for the ringing to stop and hear his voice.

“Hello?” You heard his voice and a warm smile appeared on your face.

“How is my favourite Warlock?” You asked trying to get into his good books.

“I am guessing there will be a favour along the lines.” He chuckled at your horrible attempt to act cute.

“Aren’t you just the smartest of them all?” You praised him and you could hear his whole-hearted laughter on the other side of the line.

“You are way too transparent.” He replied.

“Oh well, that’s my charm.” You smirked even though you knew he couldn’t see it.

“Where do you need to go?” He asked.

“Central Brooklyn if you could be so kind…?” You asked. Before you could have even said please, you saw the portal appearing next to the park entrance, on the side of the Institute. “Aren’t you just the best Warlock ever?” You asked teasing.

“Yeah yeah, even without flattery I would have done it.” He chuckled.

“I know, you love me to bits.” You replied confidently.

“Love your shyness too.” He replied with a sarcastic remark, but you just laughed it off. Soon enough you said your byes and hang up the phone. You decided the best way, is to just get the patrol over with. Eight hours of looking around and paying attention to demonic activity was no fun!

You stepped in to the portal to end up at your destination seconds later. The portal has quickly closed behind you as you arrived. You started walking around the area, looking through the small streets, dark alleys. You didn’t seem to see anything out of the ordinary.

As you were walking along the shops’ windows, you heard a faint sound coming out of a dead-end street. You stopped at the front, but it was too dark for your eyes to see. You took out your stele and activated your vision rune. However it didn’t seem to help. You could see everything clearly, but you didn’t see anything unusual.

Your hands slipped down to your thighs and pulled out your daggers before deciding to take a closer look. You looked behind the bins, the closed down alleys which were on the side of the street and you even jumped up on the fire escape to take a better look at the area. But you still couldn’t find anything. As a lack of evidence, you had to admit to yourself, that your mind was playing games. You jumped down the fire escape and were ready to leave. But to your surprise, you were unable to do so.

When you turned around an unwelcomed, familiar face appeared in front of you.

“I told you, I would see you again.” He whispered, standing only a couple of inches away from you. You didn’t understand how you could have missed his arrival. “I missed you, my dear Y/N.” He caressed your left cheek gently. However you couldn’t concentrate on that. You wanted out as soon as you could. He meant bad news. You pushed your dragger towards his direction, but he quickly jumped on the side. Using his distraction as an opportunity, you started running towards the main street. But luck wasn’t on your side. He grabbed your arm and pulled you back, pushing you to the wall of the building. He held up your hands above your head, stopping you from hurting him. “Now why would you make it more difficult.” He chuckled lightly. You tried to kick his thighs, but he avoided it while still holding on to your arm.

“I will kill you.” You hissed in anger, but he didn’t seem fazed. He stepped closer and hid his face in your neck, taking a deep breath.

“You could do anything you wanted to me.” He licked the vein pumping against your skin aggressively. “I would even become your slave if needed. You make me lose my mind.” He sighed, while kissing along your neck. You wanted to puke. You felt disgusted by his touch. However it gave a you a leverage. If he was really weak against you, you knew it would help you if you played along. So you did. As he hinted light kisses along your neck and jaw line, you forced out a moan. “Oh that voice. What are you doing to me?” He asked as he let go of your hands and placed one of his on your waist, closing the barely visible gap between you, while the other one pulled your hair back gently to get better access to your neck. You let out another moan, making him think that you were enjoying his company. His lips wandered up to yours, playing with them passionately. You wanted to bite his tongue as it started dancing with yours, but you were not ready to attack yet. You pushed him to the wall and started kissing him this time. You wanted to to just throw up then and there, but you knew it was not the right time and this was your only option.

“Please.” You moaned into the kiss. He pulled your waist closer to him as you started kissing down his jaw line.

“Every part of my body wants you.” He groaned in pleasure. You could see his eyes closing as you were teasing his skin seductively. While you kept hinting kisses along his neck, you started pulling out your wooden stake, from the leather strap on your thighs.


	30. L&L - Chapter 30. Caught [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

“Every part of my body wants you.” He groaned in pleasure. You could see his eyes closing as you were teasing his skin seductively. While you kept hinting kisses along his neck, you started pulling out your wooden stake, from the leather strap on your thighs. However you were not too subtle about it and he realised something was wrong. You jumped back to stab him, but he got hold of your weapon. You quickly kicked him on the stomach and started running out of the alley. You didn’t stop, you didn’t look back. You ran as fast as you possibly could. 

You didn’t even realise the time, you just wanted to get away as far as you possibly could. After you felt like you have been running for eternity, you stopped in front of the Brooklyn market. You hoped he wouldn’t try to get to you in such a crowded area. You took out your stele and activated your stamina, strength and speed runes. You needed all the available help, you could get. As you walked along the market, looking around frantically, you pulled out your phone and chose Izzy’s profile from your speed dial. It was ringing for a few seconds, before she picked up.

“Hey.” She greeted you happily, but you were unable to return it. You were still panting, trying to gather as much oxygen in your lungs as you physically could.

“Izzy, I need help.” You unintentionally whispered. You knew he could have been anywhere and you didn’t want him to know, you called for back up.

“Y/N, where the hell are you? And where is Blake?” She questioned, but you could hear she was getting ready. You could hear metals clinking in the background as she was gathering her weapons.

“I had no partner.” You sighed. “Hodge told me that things have changed last minute.” You explained. _Fuck._ You heard your parabatai silently swear. “I’m okay.” You chuckled. “But I need help.”

“I am coming. Where are you?” She asked quickly.

“Brooklyn market.” You answered, but stopped in your tracks.

“I thought you were supposed to be at the Brooklyn bridge.” She questioned your whereabouts. You faintly heard what she was saying, but you had no intention to concentrate on her anymore.

“Shit.” You whispered as you recognised your attacker a few meters away. _Y/N, is everything okay?_ You heard your parabatai over the phone, but you just couldn’t care less. You needed to escape. Fast. You turned around and started running out of the market. You knew you should have faced him, but you were alone and way weaker, even with the angelic runes on you. You took a turn at the end of the market and started running towards a street covered in bright lights. _Y/N, talk to me. What’s going on?_ You heard Izzy over the phone, but you couldn’t stop to talk and you needed your energy to run. You took another turn, but immediately stopped in your tracks when an unfamiliar face appeared in front of you.

“Where are we running?” He hissed, showing you his vampire fangs. You tried to avoid his hands, but he got hold of you.

“Let me go.” You screamed at him, but he didn’t budge. You kicked him on the stomach, which made him stumble back. You used your time wisely and quickly started running again. However he was faster. He grabbed your shoulder, pulled you back and grabbed your neck. He let out an evil laugh, before hitting your head into the wall. As you collided with the hard object, you felt like your skull was about to explode. The pain was unbearable and your scream proved that. You felt a hot liquid pouring down your face, but you couldn’t even recognise its origin. You felt dizzy and you couldn’t even stand on your own. You could hear your parabatai’s voice coming from your phone, but it seemed farther than when it was in your hand.

“That was a bad, bad move.” You heard the familiar voice getting closer to you, but you couldn’t concentrate. Your vision was blurry and the grasp of the other vampire around your throat made it even harder to be present. “I thought we had something special.” He said caressing your face gently. “But I guess I was wrong.” He squeezed your face from both sides, almost breaking your jaw. You tried to get out of the vampire’s hold, but you didn’t even feel if your body was moving or it all went down in your head only. “You will curse the day you turned against me.” He grinned, but you could only see the outline of his face. He stepped closer and gave you a kiss on your lips. You were present enough to feel disgusted and you spit on his face. However he did not take that well. He growled in anger and punched you on the stomach. You screamed in pain over and over as he repeated his movements. You just wanted it to be over. You didn’t even care anymore if you died. You just wanted the pain to stop. Your body was laying on the ground, limp, but he didn’t just let you go. “The fun is not over yet.” He said grabbing your hair, pulling you back into a sitting position.

“Die, you bitch.” You slurred, while your mouth was filling up with blood.

“That would be you.” He chuckled and hid his face in your neck. You knew what was about to happen, but you didn’t even care anymore. One way or another you just wanted to stop suffering. You had more broken bones than you could have imagined. Your concussion and your blood loss were working hard against you trying to stay awake. You couldn’t even move your fingers, even if you wanted to. Let alone grabbing any of your weapons. Your mind was still fighting. At least to stay awake. But your body has given up. “I am going to enjoy this.” He said licking your neck and plunging his needle sharp teeth into your vein. You screamed in agony, but he didn’t seem to mind. As if it turned him on even more. He sucked your blood harder and stronger, before you could even comprehend how close your mind got to giving up. You completely lost control of yourself and you knew you could not have regained it.

“Please…” You whispered while coughing up some blood to clear you airways. You basically begged him to finish you off. You knew it was a coward move and this was not what they have taught you at the Academy, but you couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Not that quickly.” He chuckled as he pulled his fangs out of your vein, quickly licking it to close it down. “I have plans with you.” He laughed out loud. Your brain however didn’t register what he was saying. You tried to keep your eyes open and stay alert, but you were on your limit. Darkness fell upon you like waterfall. You had no choice, let alone energy to fight it. You gave in without hesitation.


	31. L&L - Chapter 31. The search [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

Izzy was frantically running towards Jace’s room, tears falling down her face. She didn’t even knock on his door, she barged in without a signal. Clary was lying on the bed reading some books, while Jace was trying to whisper seductive nothings into her ear.

“I need you!” She sobbed. “Y/N has been kidnapped.” She screamed hysterically. Both Jace and Clary jumped up from the bed with expression of terror sitting across their face.

“What happened?” Jace asked while getting his boots on and grabbing his leather jacket.

“I don’t know. She called me, saying she needed help and I immediately got ready, but then…” She couldn’t continue as her sobs stopped her.

“Calm down, calm down.” Clary hugged your parabatai gently. “Do we know where she is?” She asked, but Izzy just shook her head.

“She was supposed to be at the Brooklyn Market, but they took her.” She cried feeling useless.

“Let’s get some weapons and we will be on our way, searching. Okay?” Jace interrupted and they started running towards the weapon room. The sound of their heavy boots, however seemed to be louder than expected and it made Alec curious enough to take a look out of his infirmary room. As soon as he realised they were his team members, he immediately ran after them.

Alec was still injured, but the Silent Brothers have fixed him up rather well, he was able to walk, run and move around freely. He was wincing in pain occasionally, but his injuries were still recent and even the Silent Brothers were unable to make him feel brand new again.

“What is going on?” He asked looking around. His eyes stopped on her sister who was sobbing hysterically. He had a bad feeling, and when he saw that the only missing person was you, a whole mountain’s heaviness fell on his chest. “Y/N.” He whispered and Izzy couldn’t hold it in anymore. She fell onto the floor gasping for air. Alec walked up to her and kneeled down on the floor, pulling Izzy closer to himself. He tried to comfort her, whispering encouraging words in her ears, but even he didn’t believe them.

“You don’t understand.” She screamed in pain. “I can feel it. I can feel how weak she is, Alec.” The eldest Lightwood didn’t know what to say. He wanted to believe that his sister was wrong, that it was all just a nightmare. He wanted to believe, it was some kind of an illusion or a mental training. But unfortunately it was reality at its worse. He quickly jumped up and ran to his room to change into a black trouser and black t-shirt. He took his leather jacket, his bow and arrows along with his stele. Seconds later he was already back in the weapon room, forcing his sister to get up.

“We will get her back and she will be just fine.” Alec said to Izzy, trying to comfort her.

“I heard her beg them to kill her, Alec!” She cried out. Alec looked at the ground in pain. He was physically hurting at the thought of you suffering. He wanted nothing, but holding you safely in his arms. But he knew it was too late for that. The only thing he could do for now was to find you in time and he was determined to do so.

“Let’s go.” He said and the team followed him without a second thought.

Alec gave a call to Magnus to help them out, while Izzy rang Raphael. As a vampire he had more intel and Izzy was begging him for support. Raphael didn’t think twice, before agreeing. As Magnus arrived he created a portal for the vampire and seconds later he was stepping out of it along with Simon.

“Thank you.” Izzy whispered.

“What’s the plan?” Magnus asked, turning towards the elder Lightwood. He was automatically the leader in whatever situation arose and noone ever questioned it.

“We will try to find her with the tracking rune.” He stated calmly, but inside he was filled with anger. He wanted nothing but to find you. He took out a pen with runes all over it and activated his tracking rune on his other hand. He got suspicious looks from the others. “I got it from Y/N.” He replied quickly, before concentrating his attention on his vision. He saw a dark room with wet floors and damp walls. He tried to focus more on the surroundings, on a clue to show where you were hidden. He shook his head in frustration. It wasn’t a hard rune to use, but it required complete and undisturbed attention to work successfully. He kept imagining your face and as if something hit him from the inside, he felt a pulling power. “I know where to go.” He said looking at his team.

Magnus created a portal to be closer to the area Alec felt the pull from and the others followed closely, leaving the directions to their leader. Soon enough they arrived to a street covered in bright lights. They didn’t need to think twice to realise you were there before. The pool of blood was enough evidence. Izzy walked up to where your body was laying previously and picked up the phone you dropped. She squatted down and looked at it with a blank expression. She wasn’t sad anymore. She wasn’t feeling devastated. She was plain mad. She wanted nothing, but a massacre. She wanted the vampire’s head on the end of her blade as a trophy.

Alec walked up to his sister and pulled her up into a standing position. His questioning look didn’t need reply. He could read Izzy’s face without her thoughts being said out loud. Alec started walking forward again, following his instincts, feeling that familiar pull.

“We are close.” He whispered and prepared his bow and arrow. They stopped in front of a dark metal door, which they quickly realised was closed. Jace activated his strength rune and after harshly kicking the door for a couple of times, it gave in with a loud creaking noise. 

They knew the hardest part was still ahead of them, but they were close and that gave them a comforting feeling.

> 


	32. L&L - Chapter 32. Torture [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

When you came to, you felt your shoulders being ripped out of their place. You looked up with a blurry vision to see you were hanging off some chains, digging into your wrist, being attached to the ceiling. The blood was dried around your arms, but fresh trails appeared as you tried to move your hands.

Your legs were fixed to the floor with another batch of the same chains. You tried to move, but every attempt made you scream inside. Every part of your body was in excruciating pain and you weren’t sure how long you were able to stay alert. 

“I see you are awake.” Your heard the familiar voice coming closer. “I thought you were weaker than that. I am proud of you.” He chuckled. “I wonder how long you will be able to handle my special attention.” You growled in anger.

“What do you want with me?” You asked, but your voice disappointed you and it barely came out as a whisper.

“You see, I planned to have fun with you, but then you ruined it. You could have enjoyed the pleasure I was to give you, but you refused rudely. I don’t take rejection well.” He sighed innocently and you wanted to throw up at his act.

“Interesting. I’m surprised if anyone ever wanted you. Looking at you makes me sick.” You replied in disgust. His eyes darkened and a furious expression spread across his face. He walked up to you and placed his hands on both sides of your body. You were unsure what he wanted to do, until you felt his hands squeeze you. You screamed in pain as your had dropped backwards. He was very well aware of your broken ribs and he wanted to make sure that you didn’t forget it either. You gasped for air as he let go of you, but it seemed to make it even worse.

“Let’s try that again.” He cupped your face in his hands, placing his forehead on yours.

“You are a disgusting piece of shit.” You hissed in pain and leaned backwards for a second to then collide your forehead with his. The pain from your concussion came back even worse, but seeing the blood dripping down his face made you smirk.

“That was a very bad move.” He said calmly. He looked up at you, determination clearly showing in his eyes as he slapped you as hard as he could with the back of his hand. Your head snapped to the side and you could feel your jaw moving out of its place, before popping back in. You had no more energy left to scream. Silent tears rolled down your dirt and blood covered face. “Why are you making this situation any worse than it already is?” He questioned while walking around and stopping behind you. “This is all your fault, you know?! You are such a pretty creature, but because of your behaviour, look at you now. So filthy and shameful.” He put his arms around your waist and placed his face into the nape of your neck. You tried to move, but the chains were stopping you. You felt his fangs scratching your skin as he moved to a more comfortable position. You had no time to think, he already dug into your skin, penetrating your vein. You wanted to scream, kick, hit, but your body didn’t react. You just hang there with silent tears falling down on the ground under you. “You are so delicious, I could keep doing this all day.” He whispered while detaching himself from your vein.

You weren’t sure how long you were able to keep up with his tortures. You were losing blood fast and you didn’t even have energy to attempt to escape. Your body basically accepted your faith, before your mind did.

“Why are you doing this?” You sounded horse.

“Because it’s fun and because I can.” He chuckled walking back around you and looking straight into your exhausted eyes.

“You killed so many.” You thought about all the Shadowhunters and Mundanes they hurt.

“You see…” He started walking up and down. “It’s good money to sell Mundane blood. But selling Nephilim blood, that makes you a whole lot of cash.”

“It’s all about the money.” You scoffed.

“Yes and no, darling.” He walked closer and hinted a kiss on your neck. “It’s all about the fun while becoming disgustingly rich.” He grinned caressing your cheeks.

“You are sickening.” You spat in anger.

“Maybe, but you still couldn’t keep away from me.” He laughed with an evil tone.

“If I knew I had any chance to meet you, I would have killed myself instead.” You replied grimacing.

“Interesting you say that.” He walked behind you to bite on your earlobe. You hissed at the sudden sharp pain. “I was very surprised to find you out alone when I clearly warned your little Shadowhunter friend how much I was craving you. He knew all along and he let you walk out into the night. Careless little boy, he is.” He chuckled while licking through the vein on your neck, feeling its pulsation. You shivered from disgust.

“What are you talking about?” You frowned.

“What was the name of that boy? Something with an A…” He sank deep into his thoughts. “Alec. Yes, that’s it.” You didn’t understand how Alec had anything to do with it, until you remembered your conversation with him in the Hospital wing. He tried to keep you back from going out. He tried to even order you to stay in, but you didn’t listen.

“He doesn’t know I left.” You replied, your head falling down. You felt like a complete fool. Once again you went with your dumb thoughts instead of actually listening.

“Oh, you didn’t tell anyone?” He chuckled which gave you an idea. You knew Izzy was aware of your situation and you knew they would be after you already. However it gave you the upper-hand if he didn’t expect them.

“No. I didn’t.” You replied, before he walked in front of you and grabbed you face forcefully, while slapping you with his other hand. You wanted to cry out in pain, but it didn’t come.

“Don’t lie to me. I heard the phone conversation.” He smirked at you. “But nice try, I have to give you that. Even in this state you are quite quick.” He kissed the side of your lips. You quickly turned your head and bit on his lip as hard as you could. He ripped himself away with a shout full of pain. “You bitch. Do you really want to die?” He asked as he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you close enough to dig his fangs into you. You screamed in pain, but soon it died out. It was a weird feeling. In a way you felt your body float. You didn’t feel the chains around you anymore, you didn’t feel his fang dig deeper in your vein, you didn’t really feel much. It was like going numb.

You were present enough to see the door being kicked in. Oh Angels, were you happy to see Alec, Izzy and all your friends coming to rescue you. But you felt weak. As powerless as never before. The vampire detached himself from you to look at the intruders.

You saw another door open on the side, where a bunch of hungry vampires came to help out their leader. It all started getting messy, you didn’t see who was who anymore. Your vision blurred, your power weakened. You saw redness all over the floor and walls, but you couldn’t make out who it belonged to.

Soon you felt your body being lifted and you could actually feel your hands coming down next to your side, while someone held you by your waist. But by that time your eyes fluttered shut.

“Y/N.” You heard a delicate voice. “Y/N, please stay awake.” You felt her hands around your face. It was Izzy’s soft and worried tone, without a doubt.

“Come back, you hear me?” You heard another, causing your tummy to throw fits. Oh Angels, were you happy to just hear him. You wished to see him, wished to touch him. But you couldn’t. You were way too powerless to even move a finger. By the time your body got lifted, you gave up trying to fight the darkness. You needed each other.


	33. L&L - Chapter 33. Awakening [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

You were awake, but weren’t. You could hear faint noises, you could hear people talk around you, but still, you were unable to open your eyes. It was like you were closed in a cupboard, ready to leave, but being unable to open the doors. You could even recognise the voices. It was Alec’s deep baritone that caught your attention, before you recognised your parabatai’s delicate notes. You wanted to scream, you wanted to shout. You would have been happy with any noise that could have left your vocal cords, but nothing. You were there mentally, but you were also far. You felt like you were drifting away as the voices slowly died out.

Once you thought you gained consciousness again, you only heard faint nestling coming from next to you, but you were unable to open your eyes to see what it was. You wanted to hit something, you wanted to punch someone. You didn’t ask for much, you just wanted to move. You felt like crying and there you were shredding tears, but were you really, or it all just happened in your head? You drifted into darkness again, trying to fight it off, strengthless.

Screams and shouts erupted around you, you wanted to take a pillow and throw it at them to shut them up, but they kept going. You knew you couldn’t do anything about your surrounding. You silently groaned in annoyance, knowing that you were stuck in the darkness.

“Y/N?!” You heard a squeak. Did they hear you? You didn’t know. You wanted to think they did. You wanted to hope again that you didn’t just battle with yourself inside. “Y/N, are you there?” You heard her again and you tried to answer, but to no avail.

“Y/N?” You heard that smooth, deep voice you loved so much. You wanted to scream at him that you were there, but nothing left your lungs other than your even breathing. You didn’t know what to do anymore. You were angry at yourself for being useless. A feeling that made you feel weak. A feeling that you were not used to. You were fuming inside and you wanted nothing, but punch something or someone in the gut for making you feel so miserable. You groaned once again, this time more firmly out of frustration. “Y/N, wake up. Please wake up.” You heard and now you were sure they could hear you. It could not have been a coincidence.

You screamed at yourself to open your eyes, you screamed at yourself to move. You found anger to be the best medicine right in that moment. If nothing helped you so far than it had to be anger. You felt like you were crawling your way out of darkness, growling once again at the thought that you were still stuck.

“Come on, Y/N. You can do it.” You heard Izzy’s voice and then…

“Hmm.” You heard yours. Was that really your voice? You were sure it was. You had been living with that voice for as long as you could remember. You almost missed the light coming through your eye-lids. You couldn’t believe it. You were there. Almost there.

“You are stronger than that, Y/N. Wake up.” You heard his angelic voice and you wanted to carve his face into your memories again. Your eyes slowly started flattering open, but you quickly closed them back. It was too hard to keep them open.

“That’s it, keep going.” Izzy squeezed your hand firmly. You made another attempt at opening your eyes, but this time they closed as the light burned your retina. You felt your parabatai leaving your side and soon darkness came again. You were scared. You got this far and now it was dark again.

“Try again, Y/N.” Alec caressed the side of your face. You wanted to lean into his palm to feel more of his warmth. You didn’t understand how you could hear them again when the darkness came back for you. You attempted to open your eyes once again and finally you could see their form through your blurry vision.

“By the Angel, Y/N! You are back!” Izzy screamed enthusiastically and hugged you as gently as she could. As if you were a porcelain doll. It was quite an unfamiliar sensitivity from her side.

You turned your head slightly to the other side to see Alec leaning towards you while still caressing your cheek. Your eyes started getting clearer and you could see dark patches under his eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well.

“You should… sleep.” You whispered as your vocal cords strained under dryness. He chuckled at your comment.

“You really shouldn’t be worried about me right now.” He leaned closer and kissed your forehead in such a loving way. You couldn’t remember him being ever so attentive.

“Can I… water.” You tried to speak again and Izzy immediately ran for a glass of water and helped you drink it with a straw. “On a side note… you guys look worse than me.” You whispered as your voice disappointed you once again. They chuckled at your comment.

“Not worse than you.” Izzy smirked. You returned her happiness with a slight smile that was quite hard to even manage.

“Sleep a bit more and when you wake up, you will feel better.” Alec said, but you shook your head weakly.

“I don’t want to.” You sighed deeply.

“You will wake up, Y/N.” As if he knew why you didn’t want to give in against the darkness once again. “You need to rest. You will feel better after.” You believed him. You closed your eyes and within seconds you fell asleep.


	34. L&L - Chapter 34.Blissful moment [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

Days passed by as you were recovering in the infirmary. Each and every Shadowhunter friend of yours have visited you. You felt well enough and you didn’t want to stay there anymore. When you woke up again and again, it was so much easier to open your eyes. It was like after a good night’s sleep. You slowly sat up. You felt soar, but you did not feel the pain you had, when you were captured.

You looked around to see an IV tube connected to your vein at the top of your forearm and an ECG machine which was carefully checking your heart rate. You pulled out the IV from your arm and removed the ECG patches connected to your chest. The machine started beeping, but you just pushed the red button on the side and it shut down.

You stood up and saw that you were wearing a hospital gown. You didn’t mind and decided to leave. The halls were empty and it was darker than usual. You walked towards your room as quickly as you could, but your soar body kept slowing you down. Finally as you arrived to your room and opened your door, a surprised hitch left your lips. You stood in the doorway looking at two bodies laying across on top of your nicely done bedding. Alec was laying on his back, his arms locked under his head, while Izzy was in a fetal position next to her brother. You had to look at your door to see if you were indeed in the right room and you were.

You walked up to the figures to see how deeply they were in their dreams. A slight frown appeared on Alec’s forehead while Izzy was silently whimpering. You had to smile at the sight warming you up. By the Angel, you loved them to death.

You walked up to your wardrobe, opening its door as carefully as you could, pulling out a white shirt and black sweatpants. As you turned around, you suddenly felt lightheaded. On a side note, you dotted down in your head to slow down a bit. You weren’t back to normal just yet, even though the Silent brothers patched you up quite well.

You walked up to your bathroom and closed the door behind you with a content sigh looking at your two favourite people. The shower was amazing, like your body reactivated itself once again. You took about 20 minutes in the steaming hot room, cleaning yourself and washing your hair, but most of all enjoying the hotness. You dried yourself, changed into your cloths and brushed your still wet hair to be able to put it up in a bun. It was always a mess anyway.

As you walked out, you saw Izzy and Alec sleeping in the same exact position. You loved the sight of it but you also got annoyed. They were supposed to wake up. You weren’t the loudest person, but you didn’t walk around on tip toes and they were shadowhunters always ready to fight. But then you knew they have not slept much which made you feel guilty for your previous thoughts. Your head was a mess of silly thoughts to be honest. You sat down at the end of the bed, turning towards Izzy and Alec with your legs crossed under you.

They were so calm, so out of it. Like there was no weight on their shoulders. You were glad that you saw them being carefree, even if it meant they were only that in their dreams. You shuffled a bit to get yourself more comfortable.

“Stop starring.” You heard Alec’s deep horse voice, recalling the first time you heard it when you woke up, hangover in his room. You chuckled at the thought. It seemed like it’s been ages since then. “You shouldn’t have left your room.” He continued slowly opening his eyes.

“I didn’t. I am in my room.” You giggled happily at your own comment. He scoffed at your remark, but he couldn’t hide the happy grin spreading across his face. He sat up to be in the same level with you.

“I see you are feeling better.” He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand and you wished he didn’t. The care in his eyes and the soft touch of his hand, sent a sharp pain through your chest. You promised to act normal and give up on your feelings, but he definitely didn’t make it any easier. You blushed at his touch. The dim light of the bathroom wasn’t enough to overpower the darkness, reassuring you that he couldn’t see it.

“I am brand new.” You replied with a soft chuckle.

“I’m glad, Y/N.” Your name rolled off his tongue so easily, it was almost illegal. You heard a shuffling sound coming from next to you and you looked at Izzy’s opening eyes.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in surprise.

“As far as I am aware, it is my room after all.” You giggled at her weird reaction.

“Yeah, but…” You simply cut her off.

“I’m feeling fine. Bit soar, but other than that, I’m all good.” You replied with a slight nod. She gave you a bone-breaking hug as if she was about to lose you. “Not that well.” You chuckled, frowning at the pain returning.

“I’m sorry.” She jumped back.

“It’s fine.” You ruffled her hair. You knew how much she hated it. She huffed in annoyance, but didn’t say anything. You looked at Alec who was about to stare a whole in your face. His gaze was so powerful, that you could have sworn it was burning your skin. You looked into his eyes and they seemed different in a weird, confusing way. You had no idea what was going on.

“I’m going back to my room, guys. Enjoy yourselves.” She chuckled and your brows pulled together involuntarily. Before you could have said anything, she was out of the door, closing it behind her.

“What is her problem?” You asked in confusion.

“She is Izzy.” He replied casually, placing his palm on your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “You should have listened to me.” He said and you just rolled your eyes in reply.

“Yeah…yeah.” You shook your head. “How long will I be listening to that?” You asked raising an eyebrow at his behaviour.

“For as long as I live.” He stated grinning.

“Lucky me.” You stood up scoffing. You wanted to turn on the light, but he stopped you by grabbing your wrist and pulling you back on the bed. You fell on him, straddling him accidentally. A blush crept up around your cheeks, feeling completely and utterly embarrassed at how clumsy you were. “Sorry.” You whispered while trying to stand up, but he pulled you back by your waist, holding you on his lap.


	35. L&L - Chapter 35. Confession - Final [Alec Lightwood x Reader]

“Don’t go.” He whispered with so much sincerity in his words, you wanted to melt in his arms. You didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Did he change his mind? You had thousands of thoughts running around in your head, none of which you considered to be any close to reality. You didn’t even know what to say to him. But you didn’t have to. He placed his hand on your face and gently stroked your cheekbone with his thumb, slowly pulling it down to your partially open lips. Your skin burned wherever he touched you.

His eyes were fixed on your lips, not even leaving them for a second unattended under his soft strokes. Your heart wanted to jump out of its place, but you held onto it stronger. You knew, even if Alec wanted to deny the obvious chemistry between you, he would have failed. But he didn’t plan on doing so. He pulled you even closer, placing a hand on your lower back, while running his hand along your neck, before pulling you closer and attaching his lips to yours.

Your lower belly flipped at the electricity connecting you to him and without hesitation you returned his kiss, massaging his lips with yours. He pulled back for a second breathing heavily.

“I’m so sorry for pushing you away.” You heard him, but you couldn’t concentrate. You have been waiting for this moment forever, you didn’t need words. At least not for now.

“Uh-hu.” You replied incoherently, stroking you finger across his lips. He sighed into your touch.

“Are you even listening?” He asked chuckling at your reaction.

“Sure.” You breathed. Your hungry eyes took him under your spell and without hesitation you attacked his lips forcefully, grinding on his lap, moaning into his mouth. He growled at your move, grabbing your thighs hard, to keep you in place.

“Slow down there.” He breathed, hinting slow kisses on your neck, causing you to moan in pleasure as he found your sweet spot. You pulled him away from your neck, chuckling.

“You tell me to slow down, but you keep teasing me.” You grinned happily.

“Yeah. You are right.” He breathed trying to clear his head with a soft smile across his handsome face. “I’m sorry for pushing you away.” He started once again, hoping to talk to you with a clearer mind.

“If this is how you apologise, than it’s all forgiven.” You giggled as he pulled you closer for a quick peck and leaned his forehead against yours.

“I want to apologise to you like this every single day when I woke up, when I go to bed, when you have a bad day, when you have an exciting day, when you are sick, when you are exploding from health. I want you every single day.” He confessed and you could only gape at him like a fish out of water. He chuckled at your expression, cupping your face and hinting tiny kisses on your open lips.

“Are you sure?” You asked being scared of his words. You wanted to believe it, but you couldn’t handle anymore rejection. It was painful enough before.

“I couldn’t be more sure.” He nibbled on your lower lip, forcing your eyes to flutter shut and kiss him back moaning. “I love you.” He breathed into your kiss, causing you to moan as your stomach decided to flip around harder.

“I love you too.” You whispered into his mouth, locking your arms behind his neck. “You know, you made me wait for quite a while.” You smirked as he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

“Don’t mention it.” He mumbled against your skin with a guilty groan.

“What changed though?” As much as you wanted to get lost in the moment, you were always way too curious. He pulled back from your neck and looked into your eyes with such a loving expression, you wanted to explode from happiness.

“Your disappearance.” He whispered, playing with the hem of your shirt. “I thought if I push you away, I can concentrate on the job, on the missions. But when I woke up and saw Izzy, Jace and Clary getting ready to go out and you were not there, it all downed on me. You were not there. Izzy was screaming on the floor helplessly, feeling you give up. I couldn’t even think straight. The only thing in my mind was to hold you in my arms and I felt like it was a farfetched wish which I was too late to get.” He pulled you closer with a deep sigh, burying his head in your neck again. “I thought you were gone. I thought I screwed up everything and in that moment I didn’t even care about anything, but you.” His voice kept breaking and you didn’t even know how to comfort him. You pulled him closer into a hug and hinted a soft kiss on top of his head. “When I saw you hanging off the chains, no colour to your skin, bruises and blood all over your body, I saw red. I didn’t kill the vampire, Y/N. I slaughtered him like the animal he was. I completely lost it.” He shook his head in your neck at the thought of his cruelty. “When we brought you back, I thought you were lifeless. You barely head blood in you, let alone heartbeat to pump what’s left of it. I was there every single day, waiting for you to wake up. It was like torture. I was so afraid of not being able to tell you how I felt, while I was going mad at the thought of losing you.” You pulled his head out of your neck and looked into his eyes as lovingly as you could possibly manage.

“But I am here and I am completely fine.” You smiled, pecking his lip and stroking his cheeks gently.

“And I feel like the luckiest person to get a second chance with you.” He smiled. “But if you ever dare to disobey my orders…” He started, but you cut him off.

“A note on that subject. Why didn’t you tell me what the vampire has told you?” You asked.

“Don’t remind me of that.” He sighed shaking his head with a frown. “I knew how stubborn you could get. I thought this was a better option. Believe me, I regret every decision I have made recently.” You pulled his lips to yours, but you didn’t kiss him just yet.

“Let’s say the last 2 years?” You chuckled and he joined you. He knew exactly what you meant. It’s been about 2 years since you have been onto him and he kept pushing you away.

“I can’t argue with that logic.” He pulled you into a kiss and you returned it with the most content feeling you have ever experienced.

It took you two years to get him, two years to fight for him, two years which at some point felt like a waste of time, thinking your feelings would never be returned. But here you were, in the arms of the most perfect person, captured in his loving gaze. You couldn’t have wished for anything better than the feeling of being loved by the person who stole your heart.  
  
**The end**


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